A Chance to Love
by myguyssamanddean
Summary: Consists of eleven chapters. Characters include:  John, Jo, Ellen, Sam, Dean, Pastor Jim, Bobby.  Jo catches John's attention, drama, demon hunting, Death of a Character, romance.
1. You Got Nothin’ on Me

Title: A Chance to Love

Rating: M

Summary: Long story with twists and turns. Characters include: John, Jo, Ellen, Sam, Dean, Pastor Jim, Bobby

Chapter 1 - You Got Nothin' on Me

John sat at a table at the Roadhouse. He had drowned out the surrounding conversation. He had a cold beer in front of him and he was feeling numb.

Another hunter sat down at the table and tried to start a conversation. John tried to be polite but just wanted to brush him off. This hunter was a kid, and he thought he knew it all. He bragged about close-calls that he'd had. (If he'd been careful, they wouldn't have existed to begin with) He laughed in the face of death, and actually seemed to enjoy challenging it. John could see the kid didn't have a clue.

Before too long, John's fatherly instincts got the better of him. This kid was someone's son. He asked him if he ever wanted to do the usual things in life like getting married, having a family, or staying in one place long enough to have a home. The kid thought he could have it all.

"After all, you're married. Do you have kids?" he said.

"My wife passed away many years ago. Yes, I do have kids, two grown boys. There was no excuse for the danger I put them in. I drug them all over on hunts. They are still in danger."

"How come you still wear your wedding ring?" he said thinking he'd caught John in a fib.

"One day, you'll know," John responded. His voice was low as he thought of Mary.

"You guys need anything?" Jo approached the table.

"Just you, honey," the kid smiled and it reminded John of Dean.

"I'll have to think about that, Cole," Jo flashed him back a smile. "Anything else I can bring you?"

"No thanks," John shook his head at the exchange he'd witnessed.

"I'll have another one," Cole waved his empty beer.

"Be right back," Jo turned and Cole made sure to enjoy the way she walked.

"That is the perfect girl for me," Cole said without realizing that he said it aloud.

"Jo?"

"Yep, didn't you see how she was checking me out?"

John just lifted his eyebrows and nodded his head as he took another drink, even though he didn't see how it all would work out for Cole. He just wanted to avoid an argument.

When it got close to closing time, Helen stopped by John's table. She asked him what he thought about his new friend, Cole. "New friend?" John chuckled. "He was just sitting at my table shooting the breeze."

"Well, look at who he's shooting the breeze with now," Ellen tilted her head toward the bar, where Cole stood a little too close to Jo. "How much time should I give him before I chase him away?"

John shook his head. "He's determined and uninformed. A dangerous combination"

"Take as long as you want to finish, I'm just getting started at closing now."

John breathed in the scene of Cole and Jo. His mind drifted back to Jo's dad, Bill, who had gone hunting with him once. Bill sure loved his family. He'd been severely injured after a botched plan during a hunt. John had promised Bill that he'd keep an eye on Ellen and Jo, keep them from harm. When Bill was in so much pain that he couldn't stand it anymore, John ended his suffering. It was because of their friendship that he did that last act of kindness. Jo was little then, about the same age as Dean. Ellen was strong and continued to run the Roadhouse. John stopped by and checked in on them when possible. Ellen knew about the supernatural, and she knew that John would come at a moment's notice to protect them.

He looked a Jo now and realized how quickly she'd grown up. She was no longer the little girl in pigtails. She was a beautiful woman. Ellen had told him that Jo wanted to become a hunter. John didn't think that Bill would have approved of that for his little girl. He'd wanted so much for her. Just as John had wanted more for Dean and Sam.

He saw Jo in a new light as he looked back at her by the bar. She had a beautiful smile. A beautiful smile was what had attracted John to Mary. He had a feeling in his chest that he hadn't felt in many, many years. It would take him awhile to come up with a name for it, but it was love. It was more than wanting to protect her, although that was part of it, too. Then, he remembered the age difference and tried to push the thought and feeling aside.


	2. John's Approach to Jo

A Chance to Love - 2 of 11

John's Approach to Jo

A month later, John had to stop at the Roadhouse. He couldn't get Jo off his mind. He'd been conflicted. He'd felt like he was betraying Mary or her memory. The more he thought of it, he realized that Mary would have wanted him to be happy. He'd either just been too busy hunting the demon for that to happen or it had just taken someone as special as Jo to make him pay attention. He missed the married life. Since Jo was brought up around hunting, she would understand it more than most other women. As for her wanting to hunt herself, maybe he could take her with sometimes or talk her out of it. The least he could do was talk to her and see how she was doing.

His eyes had to adjust to the dim light in the Roadhouse. John sat at a table and Jo came over. "Anything new around here?"

"Nope, nothing interesting anyway. Same hunters, similar stories. No one has anything new going on."

"Can I get a beer?"

"Sure. Need anything to eat?"

"Nope. Fine there."

He saw a few familiar faces when her looked around the Roadhouse. Ellen asked, "How are things going?", as she slowed by his table on her way to another one. John just nodded because his mind was elsewhere.

Jo came by with the beer. "How are Sam and Dean doing?" John sensed she was just asking to be polite. He knew that she'd had feelings for Dean and Dean just isn't very good in the long term (more than one night) feeling department.

"They've been keeping busy. They are good, though. I'm concentrating on the demon and they are handling whatever else shows up."

Jo just nodded. "I'll check back later, John."

Just hearing her say his name affected him. He sighed and realized just how deep his feeling ran.

"That damn Cole," Ellen complained to John. "Jo has a tough exterior. She's learned to be tough. Cole took advantage of her kindness and then promptly ditched her. That little bug doesn't even have the common decency to stay away from here."

John just shook his head. "That's a shame," he said and meant it. "No one deserves to be treated like that."

"Try convincing her of that," Ellen went on. "She's blaming herself, even though no one else can see it. She is Bill's daughter. You know what a softie he was."

"Yep. I remember."

"I need some supplies from town. Any chance you could give Jo a ride there? Our truck hasn't been running right and Ash hasn't been around to look at it."

"Sure. I'll even look at your truck when we get back."

­­

"Still talking to Cole much?" John asked even though he knew the answer. He didn't ask to hurt her, he asked to help her.

"No," she looked out the window.

"He seemed a little reckless to me," John offered. "So it's better this way."

Jo just shrugged.

"What is it you want for your life, Jo? You have choices. Dean chose hunting. Sam chose college for awhile. I had a typical life before chasing the demon. What do you want?"

"Where is all this coming from?" She questioned. She usually didn't speak to John very much besides small talk.

"Just wondering. I know your Dad had dreams for you. Nothing specific, you know. He just wanted you to be safe and happy."

"Mom keeps me plenty safe. As far as happy, not so much. I want to be a hunter. I want to make my dad proud."

"Bill would have been proud of you no matter what you do. Don't ever worry about that."

After loading the truck, John took a look around. It was a quiet town. It wasn't yet dusk. Ellen didn't need her supplies immediately.

"Would you like to go for a stroll?" John asked.

Jo thought it odd, but it was a peaceful evening. "Sure. I'm not that anxious to get back to work and the smoke."

After about a block, John asked Jo what would make her happy.

"I'm not sure. I thought being a hunter would be great. But, I know how lonely it can be. It can be dangerous and it's a life, not just a job. Sometimes I see how different things are on tv. I wonder what it would be like to settle down and get married. I don't know if any of that would make me happy. I just know that it would be different."

"It is a whole different ballgame, honey. I grew up in that other world. I was safe in my ignorance of what is really out there. You can't unlearn what you've grown up with. You could make your life more like the usual one." He hesitated before continuing, "You could still get married."

"Maybe if I had any contact with the outside world. All I meet are hunters. That's not the type of marriage I'd want."

John thought for a minute. Then, he stopped walking. Jo just stopped when he did.

"How do you think of me?" he barely croaked out. He looked at her with his brown eyes, hoping he'd hear an answer resembling what he wanted to hear.

"You're John. One of my folks' friends. Dean and Sam's dad. Why?"

"I recently realized that you've grown up from the little girl I used to know. I've --- I've noticed you another way."

Jo's eyebrows showed her confusion.

He turned toward her and took a deep breath. "Just hear me out, ok?"

She nodded.

"I feel awkward saying this, and I'll never bring it up again. I have been concentrating on the demon for so many years. I never thought of much besides that and teaching Sam and Dean to fight." He swallowed hard. "Then, I saw you smile the other day. It made me smile and brought up feelings I haven't felt since Mary. I know how much older I am than you. I promise that this isn't some dirty old man thing."

Jo looked at him. She saw the emotion deep in his eyes and knew he was telling her the truth. She looked at his shaggy hair and how it was too long in places, hanging close to his brown eyes.

"I just have feelings for you and want to know if there is any chance that you have any romantic feelings for me."

"So you are trying to ask me out?"

John's face turned red, but he felt a little relieved. "Yes, I guess I am."

"Okay." Jo paused. "How are you going to break it to my mom?"

John had never thought it through to this point. Handling Ellen? He had no clue how that would go.


	3. Learning to Date

A Chance to Love - 3 of 11

Learning to Date

"John Winchester!"

John closed his eyes and shook his head. So, Jo had already told Ellen. He'd hoped to wait until he'd at least fixed their truck. He wiped his hands on a rag and looked up from under the hood.

"You're taking Jo out for supper? What has gotten into you? You're old enough to --"

"I know," his voice was calm as he interrupted her. "It was hard to me to get over. Jo is probably still mulling it over in her head."

Ellen was silent.

"The other day she smiled and it awoke something in me that's been dead since Mary died. I haven't even dated since Mary died. This is new to me, too. I just know that I can't stop thinking of her."

"And she'll end up worrying for nights on end when you don't come home from a hunt. I've did that with Bill. I don't want that for my Jo."

"I don't know if it is even going to work out," John conceded. "I do know that I'd make changes in my life if she wanted me to be in hers."

"You hurt her . . . " Ellen didn't feel the need to finish the threat.

"I know." John said solemnly. It was silent for a moment. "Mind if I get back to your truck?"

Ellen just nodded and went back inside. She was unsure of what was going to happen, but she knew John was kind. For now, that would have to be enough.

They went to a restaurant in town. It was just small talk, but it was more than John had spoken in a long time. They had a nice meal and went back to his truck.

Once he worked up enough nerve , John asked,"So do you think we should do this again?" Jo looked at him and smiled.

He knew it was going to be trouble when he saw Cole in the Roadhouse months later. John and Jo had been dating and Cole was mad. He wanted Jo back, he didn't want anyone else to have her until she returned to him.

John was alone at his table, like usual. Cole came over and got in his face. "What are you doing with Jo?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business," John spoke calmly and slowly.

"I can do anything better than you, old man," the respect he'd had for John before had disappeared. "I go out there and hunt and when I come home I know I'm a man. I'm not running after a girl who is young enough to be my daughter and running away from me."

"To be your daughter, you'd be dating a girl of about 7." Cole's face twisted up as he tried to think of a comeback before John continued,. "And I don't see Jo running anywhere."

"Just you wait," Cole smirked. "You don't know what she does when you're gone. She flashes her smile and shows off her body to guys. Most of the time she gets the guys."

John wasn't taking the bait.

"Yep, I've had several successful hunts. Saved some folks. I'm a damn good hunter."

"Done blowing your own horn?" John replied.

Cole realized he wasn't getting anywhere and left the table.

John just smiled to himself.

Another night at the restaurant. There weren't a whole lot of options in the small town. Jo was more talkative about who she'd seen and what they'd been doing. Hunters congregated at the Roadhouse to share information and catch up. John listened, but he had a hard time concentrating on her words. He was distracted by the sound of her voice and the way her lips moved. The lips that he longed to kiss.

It was dark when they left the restaurant. Jo took John's arm as they walked to the truck. He stopped at the passenger side. There was a little breeze in the air tonight. He turned to face Jo and placed his hands at her waist. She rested her arms on his forearms. He pulled her a little closer and said her name in a husky voice. She tilted her face up to his. He moved slowly as he moved his lips toward hers.

They were so soft and moist. He kissed them gently. Jo put her hands on his shoulders. John kissed them some more and her hands moved to clasp around his neck. When he broke away to breathe, he asked," You okay with this?"

She smiled, "You need to ask?" and she stretched up to kiss him reassuringly. John's heart was beating fast when he opened the truck door for her. She slid in and he closed the door. He had a bounce in his step on his way to the driver's side.

"Mom gave me the night off," Jo said when John started up the truck. "Want to find someplace to talk?"

"Sure," John pulled away from the curb. He drove to the park and pulled over. "How about here?"

"I don't have a problem with the age difference," she started as she turned on the bench seat to face him. She had a knee on the seat. "I don't even think of it. You are just John to me."

"Just?" The corners of his mouth turned up.

"That's not what I meant." She was embarrassed. "I just meant-"

"I know," he gave her a full fledged smile.

She shook her head. "You get a kick out of flustering me?"

"It's just so easy to do," he tried to defend himself as he turned to face her. He edged closer to her, held her face in his hands, and kissed her. She kissed him back and then opened her lips slightly. John flicked his tongue against her lips. She had her arms around John. He'd moved his hands to her arms, pressing her to him. They were lost in the sensations.

John sat with his arm around Jo and she snuggled in a little closer. She dipped her head a little, listening to his heartbeat through his chest. John kissed the top of her head as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Hmm," John's voice was soft. " I could stay like this all night."

"Me, too."

Ellen looked at them both when they entered the Roadhouse. She could tell that something was different. Jo was on John's arm and they couldn't help but smile. Ellen had kept her mouth shut about Jo and John. Over the last several weeks, she'd noticed a change gradually come over Jo. She'd become more content. Cole didn't bother her even though he had tried to. John called Jo from the road, and came to the Roadhouse when he said he would. He'd kept his word. He hadn't hurt her. He hadn't kept her waiting from the phone. Ellen decided to be happy for her friend and her daughter. Jo hadn't talked about becoming a hunter lately, either. That was a relief.

"Have a good evening?" She asked even though she knew the answer.

"Yep!" was Jo's response. She grabbed some drinks and sat at a table with John. They were engrossed in deep conversation. When John stood up to leave, Jo grabbed his shoulders to pull herself up for a kiss. His arms went around her and they embraced for a few moments. They didn't want to make a scene and yet they didn't want to let go.

The following night, Jo suggested they grab food at the Roadhouse and then go for a drive. Ellen eyed the couple as they ate. When Jo went to grab her coat, Ellen approached John.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for Jo?"

"I mean, how do you think this is going to go? How long is it going to last?"

"I don't know." His eyes were so sincere, "I love Jo, Ellen."

"Does she know? Does she love you?"

"I haven't told her because I don't want to scare her. I don't know if she feels the same. One day she might."

Just then, Jo came back took John's arm. "We okay?" John asked Ellen.

Ellen just nodded.

"Where are you staying at?" Jo asked when they got on the road.

John turned to look at her. "Motel just off the highway."

"Let's go watch some television,"

"I wasn't planning on company," John picked up some discarded items as soon as he walked into his room.

"No problem," Jo helped him tidy up a little.

Pretty soon, Jo was flipping though the channels and found a suitable program. John sat down next to her on the bed, using the headboard as a backrest. Jo leaned forward so he could get his arm around her and she could snuggle in.

"Why do you still wear your wedding ring?"

"I never could take it off because it was my only connection to Mary. Does that bother you?"

"Depends," her voice was thoughtful. "Think you'll ever love someone else?"

"I think I could. Why?"

"Just wondering what our future could be."

"What do you want it to be?" John's voice seemed like he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer..

"I've dated a couple guys. None of them held open doors for me or took me seriously. You listen to what I say and make me feel important. I don't want you to go away. I don't want to do anything to make you go away."

"Don't need to worry about scaring me off," John eased her mind. "I'm not the fickle kind. I haven't dated since Mary."

"Not since Mary? How about, um, I mean," she was at a loss of words.

John got a little chuckle in his voice," No, honey. No one night stands either. That isn't what I'm looking for."

"Do you still love her?"

"Part of me does. That part will always love her. But, the past has its place. I could love someone new."

"How did you know you were in love?" Jo asked as she looked at him intently.

"I couldn't think of anyone else. Anytime I thought of the future, she was in it. I dreamed of how our life would be." John was thoughtful. "But love could feel different to each person. Have you ever been in love?"

"I've had crushes." Jo was silent for awhile. "But this doesn't feel like a crush."

"I'm flattered that it doesn't. I love you, Jo."

She kissed him, lingering, and said, "I don't ever want to be without you."

"Sounds like we are stuck with each other then."


	4. Conversations and Intimate Moments

A Chance to Love - 4 of 10

Conversations and Intimate Moments

The television program was forgotten as they kissed and shared very private information.

John wished he'd been a better father. Jo had only been intimate once, and even then Cole was mad because they didn't "close the deal". John understood and told her that he wasn't going to rush her into anything.

Then, before they went any further, John asked her if she knew how her dad died. She knew that it was on a hunt with John. John felt guilty about shooting Bill, even though that was the only thing to do at the time. If Jo was going to hold his judgment in the past against him, he wanted to know it now. It would hurt so much worse if it was later.

"Would you like to know exactly what happened?" John wasn't sure if he should ask the question. He didn't know how Jo would react.

Jo nodded her head because she couldn't find her voice.

"It's okay, baby," John ran his knuckles along her jaw. "Can you move a little so I can see your face and hold you while I tell you?"

Jo sat on John's lap, with her legs to the side. John's arms enveloped her like rocking a child. "Our plan went awry. The hunt went bad from there. We both fought, and your dad was injured. I finished the job and ran to your dad. He was in bad shape. He was in so much pain. He talked about you and Ellen. He made me promise to keep an eye on you, make sure I got rid of anything supernatural. He loved you so much."

Jo was starting to cry silently. John paused his story. He wiped away her tears. "Do you want me to continue?" Jo nodded. She needed to know.

"Bill was a good friend of mine. When we figured out that he was beyond saving, I just held him and talked to him. When the pain got to be too much, I did the only thing a real friend could do. I took my gun out, and he nodded. He just wanted the pain to end. So, I ended it for him. It was hard to do, but I knew he'd do it for me."

Jo was shocked. "How can you be sure he wouldn't heal?"

"His chest and abdomen were ripped open. His insides had been pulled out. He was missing patches of skin that had been ripped off. He didn't want to leave you, Jo. It was his only option"

John held her and wiped her tears as she cried for the dad she didn't have many memories of. John made hushing noises as he rubbed her back. When her sobs stopped, John asked, "Are you mad at me?"

Jo shook her head. "You did what needed to be done because you cared about him so much. I can't blame you for caring about him. Your ability to care is one of the things I admire about you." She touched John's cheek, "Thank you for telling me. "

John just rocked her some more and didn't say a word. "You feel like home," Jo still sounded stuffy from crying. "I love you, John."

John gave her a surprised look, "Really? You don't have to say you love me just because I said it to you."

"I know," Jo replied. "I wouldn't tell you if I wasn't sure. After our conversations tonight, I'm sure."

They shared a kiss and then Jo settled back into John's arms. John thought, she's right. This does feel like home.

More phone calls from the road to Jo. John even started writing Jo letters, which she treasured. She reread them over and over again.

"Jo!" Ellen yelled from the bar. Jo came around the corner and was surprised to see John standing there. She ran to him. His grin was so wide, happy that she liked his surprise. Ellen had known he was coming, he'd wanted Jo to be able to get the night off.

Back at the hotel, they had another deep conversation. "What was it like to be married?" Jo asked.

"I had someone to come home to. I had someone I could trust with my life because she loved me as much as I loved her. It meant that I comforted her, and she comforted me. We didn't face anything alone--always together."

"I think I'd like to get married someday," Jo replied.

John thought it over. Another man could give Jo the marriage she desired. He had other issues he had to go around. "I live on the run, Jo. I can't get married legally because I'm listed as a missing person and I'd rather it stayed that way. We could get married in a religious ceremony. I could get you a ring. But there wouldn't be a name change and everyone would just have to think we were dating. I'd take shorter hunts. That's how I think a marriage for us would be."

"Marriage is just between two people," Jo was thinking it over." I think I'd have to have a religious ceremony for it to feel real to me. Would you really take shorter hunts?"

"I'd have to be near my wife," he smiled. He caught a glance at his hand and asked if he could keep wearing his wedding ring.

"You have worn that ring for as long as I have known you. It signifies the kind of love you give. You loved Mary with your heart and soul. It would be ok for your ring to represent your love for me. Plus, a new ring for you would cause some attention."

"Does this mean you actually want to get married to me?" John asked.

"Just waiting for you to pop the question, John."

"Where could we find you a ring?" he asked.

"Back at home. My mom has her grandmother's ring that she always said I could use for an engagement ring."

"When do you think we should tell your mom?"

"When do you think we should tell Sam and Dean?"

Ugh. He'd forgotten about that part. What would the boys say?

During John's next visit, he wanted to make sure that Jo still wanted to get married and that she'd had enough time to think about it.

Jo greeted him such enthusiasm that he had to laugh. It had been awhile since someone was that happy to see him. Jo almost toppled him over when she gave him a huge hug and started kissing him. He guessed that her mind probably hadn't changed since last time. When he broke the kiss and glanced up, Ellen didn't look upset at the sight of him, so that was a good sign.

"Still thinking of marriage, honey?" John could barely get the words out.

"Just have to ask me correctly." Jo continued, "I 'borrowed' my great-grandmother's ring from my mom's jewelry box. I have it in my purse. I don't know if she has noticed if it is gone because she hasn't said anything."

"She's not shooting daggers at me, so she must not have a clue," John was eyeing Ellen again. "Should I ask her permission to propose to you?"

"That would only be right," Jo replied. "I don't think it's a conversation I want to be in on. Why don't you head over to the bar and start talking?"

"Come on," He was feeling rattled. "I need at least one beer before facing mama bear."

"I'll get it. Then you can get to your asking," and she was off.

John, true to his word, had only one before approaching Ellen. He grabbed a stool at the bar.

"Need another one?" she asked.

"Nope. Just need to talk."

"Any idea where my grandmother's ring went?"

John averted his eyes and took a breath. He smiled and nodded when he turned back to face her," Jo's purse."

"And why would it be there?" Her eyes almost pierced him.

"We've gotten serious," was his explanation. "I wanted to get your permission to ask her to marry me."

Ellen's jaw dropped. She eyed him suspiciously. "You what?!"

"Settle down a minute, Ellen. I'm not trying to talk Jo into anything. You know as well as I do how stubborn she can be."

"I'll give you that, "Ellen replied. "I did raise a headstrong daughter." She paused for a moment. "How will married life be different for you? Still just stopping by every few months?"

"No. I would be home more. I'm still after the demon, but Sam and Dean can handle the other hunts. I love your daughter, Ellen. You know that. I just want to make her happy."

"Okay," Ellen huffed. "You have my permission. Just remember, I am going to be a in your face mother-in-law. If you don't treat her the way I think she should be treated, I'm stepping in."

"Thank you," John was relieved. "As for the rest of it, fair enough. You don't need to worry though."

Ellen just looked at him and sighed.

"We still have to work out details. Since I'm still listed as a missing person, we can't have a legal marriage. Jo has insisted on a religious one, and that's what I want to. She wants to wear her your grandmother's ring as her wedding ring."

"Ok, she can have the rest of the night off. Good luck." Ellen went back to cleaning glasses. She looked up worriedly as John walked away. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

John went over to Jo and grabbed her by the waist. "Guess who just got permission from your mom?"

Jo whipped around to face him. "Really?"

"Not only that," he continued. "You have the night off."

"I'll go place this last order and be back in a minute." She hurried off.

John had to do some quick thinking. With Mary, he proposed at a special place of theirs. He had to figure out where to propose to Jo. Jo was back in a flash and he still hadn't figured it out. He just figured he'd wing it and hope he got it right.

When they got to the truck, Jo opened her purse and gave the ring to John for safekeeping. He glanced at it and thought it was pretty. Then, he put it in his pocket.

They got to the restaurant, and Jo suggested getting their order to go. John looked down at her, and she whispered by his ear, "Let's go to the motel." He gave a little smirk and put his arm around her to pull her closer.

There really wasn't much of a choice of motels, with only two in town. John picked the nicer one to bring Jo to since he hadn't checked in anywhere yet.

They brought the food into the room and started setting up the table. They sat down to eat when John said, "Wait, just a minute."

John got out of his chair and on one knee. Jo was looking at him with her shimmering eyes. "Jo, will you marry me? I can't picture my future without you in it. I love you. I'll love you forever."

"Yes, I'll marry you," Jo had a tears coming down her face.

John took the ring out of his pocket and placed it on her left ring finger. The ring was a little big. "I can find someplace to get it resized," he offered.

"I like it the way it is," Jo replied before she collapsed into John's arms.

He was so relieved and happy. They knelt on the floor. His arms were around her and her arms were around his neck with one hand stoking his hair. John moved his lips to Jo's neck. Feather-light kisses as Jo moved her head to the side so he could kiss her some more.

He loved the smell of her perfume. Her skin was so tender and her long hair tickled his face. Jo nudged his jaw up so she could kiss him.

Slowly, fumbling, they made their way to the bed. John could feel Jo's whole body next to him. He hadn't realized that he was craving contact like that so much. After they broke from the frenzied kissing of being engaged, Jo curled up beside John with her head on his shoulder.

"What kind of wedding do you want?" John asked, realizing that he didn't have a clue as what went into planning a wedding, Mary had done that.

"It sounds silly, and I know it isn't worth it, "she confessed," but I have always wanted a white dress like Cinderella."

"That isn't silly. It is a special day and I want you to have it be your dream day."

"Hmm," she snuggled in closer. "Flowers would be nice. Just a few for me to carry."

John caressed Jo's arm as she shared her thoughts.

"Where would we be able to get married at?" Jo looked up at him. "Since it isn't legal, do we need to keep it all secret?"

"I have a friend, Pastor Jim. He would marry us, no problem. We could get married at his church or even at the Roadhouse if you want. We would only be able to have a couple people there--Ellen, Dean, Sam, Bobby, and maybe Ash, if you want."

"I'd like Ash to be there," Jo responded. "Just a few folks is ok. When do you think we should do this thing?"

"When would you like to?"

"Soon." she fiddled with her new engagement ring. "I 'd just need enough time to get a dress."

"I still need to tell Sam and Dean. Do you want to come with me for that little piece of excitement?"

"I think that is more of a father/sons conversation." She thought about it. "I would like to be nearby, though. I don't want to let you out of my sight."

John went with to the dress store. He was supposed to be giving opinions and suggestions about the dresses that Jo tried on. She got frustrated when he didn't give her much feedback. He told her that he'd like to be surprised by what she chose.

John stepped outside and called Dean while Jo tried on more dresses. He found out where Dean and Sam were and told them to stay put for a few days, that he was headed that way. He didn't give any indication what the visit was for, and they didn't ask. They were used to getting information on a need to know basis.

John also called Pastor Jim. He said he would make himself available whenever they set the date. As far as the church being available, he'd have to check the schedule. Pastor Jim knew what Mary meant to John, so he also knew how much John must love Jo. He was very happy for the both of them.

Jo came out of the dress store, tired from all the choices she'd had to make, but excited that she'd made them. She'd chosen a dress and veil. Their next stop was the flower shop. There she chose her flowers and ones for the guests as well. She told them she'd call back with the date of the service.

Back at the Roadhouse, they filled Ellen in on what they'd decided so far. Ellen thought that she could arrange the Roadhouse to have a nice ceremony there. They could move the tables and hang some decorations. Since the Roadhouse was also their home, Jo would be able to get ready in her room and not have to go anywhere to walk down the aisle.

That led to the idea of the living arrangements after their wedding day. John suggested that they could live in a home in town., and even have an extra room for if Sam and Dean.

John checked into a room for him and Jo. They moved a couple of bags into the room. John got Jo settled in and Jo gave him a kiss and reassured him that it would go okay. She grabbed a book from her bag and started reading as John walked out the door. His steps fell heavy as he made his way to his sons' room. He didn't think that this was going to be pretty.

"Sam! Dean!" He say joyfully as he walked in. He hugged each of them, and they were happy to see him. They filled him in on their latest hunts. John listened intently, trying to figure out the right words to tell them.

"So, what have you been up to, Dad?" Sammy gave John the perfect opportunity. "We don't hear from you and then out of the blue you want to meet up."

"I have some good news, really good news," John started.

"You've found the demon?" Dean was hopeful and seemed ready to go and kill the thing.

"No, Dean," John struggled to continue on. " I have decided to get married."

Sam and Dean looked at each other with a loss of words.

"Who?" Sam recovered quicker than Dean.

"Jo."

"Ellen's daughter?" Sam was catching on quick while Dean was still trying to let it soak in. Sam looked at Dean, knowing that Jo had wanted to date Dean at one time. That couldn't be the Jo that his dad was referring to.

"Yes, Ellen's daughter."

"When did this happen? How? Did you just quit loving Mom?" Sam was the only one firing questions. Dean just eyed his Dad and waited for his responses.

"I didn't quit loving your Mom, Sammy. She will always have a place in my heart. But, she is gone. One day, I saw Jo smile and I felt something that I haven't felt in so long. We started seeing each other several months ago."

"But Jo is our age. She wanted to date Dean!" Sam seemed confused.

"We know our ages, Sam. She is over ever wanting to date Dean. We are both happy. She's actually in another room here, waiting to see you guys."

"She's here?" Dean finally came to life. "This is quite a bit to sort through right now, Dad."

"I know," John sounded understanding. "It won't change much for you two except that Jo and Ellen will always be a part of our family. They've seemed like family to us anyway."

"Are you giving up looking for the demon?" Sam asked.

"No, I won't ever stop tracking the demon. I plan on staying a little closer to home once we're married. I figured you two are more than capable of handing the other hunts. I'll always be available for backup or research, that kind of thing. Wherever I call home, you and Dean will have a place there, too. We'll actually have a home. What do you think?"

"Give us some time, Dad," Dean sounded exasperated," This is a big deal to just spring on us."

"Okay. How about I get Jo and take you two out for dinner? It might make it a little easier to accept when you see us together."

Dinner was a little awkward to put it mildly. They lingered after they were done eating. Conversation was easier after they'd been there for awhile.

For the first time that they could remember, Sam and Dean saw their Dad happy. He'd looked that way in old photographs of him and Mary but they hadn't seen him like that in real life. John seemed to smile and laugh more. Jo brushed his arm a few times during the meal. She looked like light. After working in the Roadhouse for so long, they were used to seeing her in the dim, smoky light. Her smile was brighter than they remembered. Dean regretted having brushed Jo off in the past, but he was glad to see how Jo and John brought out the best in each other.

They had Ellen's blessing, and Sam and Dean gave theirs, too, although it took longer than it had taken Ellen.

Sam and Dean congratulated John and Jo and gave them each a hug when they said goodnight. They let out a collective breath when they closed their motel door behind them. It was all still weird and needed some time to sink in.

John couldn't get the door unlocked quick enough with Jo whispering sweet nothings in his ear. They got the door shut and their lips could not get enough of each other. When the kisses slowed down, John slid a hand under the waist of her shirt. Jo's skin was so soft and warm.

John looked down at Jo, trying to read what she was thinking. She put her fingers on the top button on his shirt and undid it. And the next one. All the way down the line until she could reach her arms around him, underneath his shirt. She laid her cheek against his bare chest and the hairs there tickled her skin. John continued to caress her back with his calloused hands.

John took his hands away from Jo's body to remove his shirt. Jo ran her fingers all over John's skin. There were scars on his torso, old and new. John clicked on a small desk lamp and went back to feeling the skin on Jo's back.

"Can I take this off?" John tugged at her shirt. Jo nodded. She stepped back and John's thick fingers had a difficult time gripping the delicate buttons to open them. Luckily for John, there were only 6 tiny buttons at the top. Then, he pulled the shirt over Jo's head.

Jo just stood there for a minute in the dim light. John gazed at her. Her long hair was below her shoulders. Her bra was white lace and it cupped her perfectly. John's eyes followed her cleavage and longed to see what the delicate fabric was concealing.

Jo saw John's warm eyes. She reached behind her back and opened the closure. John just watched at the fabric got looser. Jo was looking directly at him, making sure he saw.

John stepped closer and moved her hand away when she went to push the straps off her shoulder. Jo hooked her fingers in the belt loops of John's jeans. John took one finger and slid the straps off slowly, one by one. Jo tossed the garment aside. John cupped her breasts, taking in everything about them--how they looked, their weight, and how they felt in his hands.

"Come with me, Jo," his voice was low as he took her hand. He led her to the bed. They stretched out beside each other, half-dressed.

In the heat of the moment, John slipped a finger under the button of her jeans. "Don't," Jo whispered. He felt her body stiffen. "I haven't yet," she bowed her head like it was something to be ashamed of.

John brought her face to his and kissed her. "That is not a problem, honey. It isn't something we need to change tonight." After her body had relaxed some, John whispered, "Just the jeans, ok? They won't be comfortable to sleep in anyway."

"Okay," she breathed the words against his neck. John's hand touching her belly while he worked the button made her stomach quiver. He unzipped them methodically, he was in no rush. He gently worked them down over her hips and tossed them aside.

"What about yours?" Jo asked. It was too dark for John to see Jo's face. Part of him was thankful for the darkness because his answer was, "Honey, I'm already packing. I'd better keep my jeans on."

Jo laid with her head on his chest and he worked his fingers through her long hair. They weren't asleep, just resting. John's voice rumbled in his chest as he asked, "Did you have someone hurt or scare you, Jo?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Just because your whole body tensed when I touched your jeans."

"I'm sorry about that," she didn't look up at him but curled up more so her head was further down on his chest.

"It's nothing to be sorry for, Jo. I'm just asking if someone scared you. I know how some hunters can be. You're going to be my wife and I want to know if something doesn't feel right to you, or if there is something in the past we need to deal with," John tried to explain, which isn't easy for a Winchester.

"We need to deal with?"

"Yeah. We're planning on becoming one. Your bad feelings, even those in the past, are something we need to deal with. It affects the both of us. But don't ever apologize for it. It is just baggage. I come with some, too."

"Okay." Jo was silent for a long time. John thought she'd fallen asleep. "Guys have been treating me like an object for awhile. Some hunters are just that way, you know?" John made a sound that she took as agreement. "Then, one guy seemed different. I was so stupid to have been taken in by his stories. They were mostly lies, anyway. We went out a few times. On our last date, he just popped himself out and said something, I don't remember what. I do remember how much he and it scared me."

"I'd never scare you on purpose," John's voice seemed to soother her nerves. "And I would never let anyone or anything hurt you, including any part of me." There was silence. "You need to trust me, Jo, totally. Just like I trust you. We'll always have each other's best interest at heart. It is something we can work on, if we don't have it now. We love each other and the rest of it will fall into place if we work with it."

"I believe you." Jo started to uncurl, "And I trust you." She rested her head on his shoulder. John was just glad that he knew what was going on. He just held her, protectively, for the rest of the night.

In the morning, John watched Jo come out of a hazy sleep. "Good morning, honey."

Her response was a sleepy smile.

"Do you realize that I forgot to bring you home last night? Have you had a sleepover before or is it something that Ellen will be on a rampage for?"

"I told her where we were going," Jo wiped the sleep from her eyes. "If she was worried, she does have your cell number." She sunk back into the curves of John's body ad rested some more.

"Want to talk a little about last night?" John played with her hair, not wanting to push her but yet wanting to make it better.

"I suppose," she didn't want to look directly at him, and that was okay.

"Do you want to tell me who scared you, Jo?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to help you become more comfortable with us?"

Jo nodded her head.

"Okay, " John replied as he pulled Jo up so she was lying beside him. He looked directly into her eyes. "We need to work together at this." He was silent contemplating what to say next. He'd been Mary's first, just as she'd been his. But, Mary didn't have any additional issues with being intimate except that she didn't want to become pregnant until after they were married.

"What about that night scared you? Was it something he said or did?"

"It started out okay. We were just kissing and cuddling. I hadn't even noticed anything had changed until he pulled this huge thing from his jeans and said what he was gong to do with it."

"Was it something out of the ordinary, or maybe something you're just not into?"

"I don't know," was her totally honest reply. "It just made me want to get out of that car and get home."

John just nodded. "Had anything like this happened before? Had you been that far before?"

"Just touching over jeans," she admitted.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night. I just wanted you to be more comfortable as you slept. I wasn't trying to push anything. Whenever the time is right for you to go further, let me know. No pressure here."

"Okay," she nodded. She hesitantly moved one of he hands lower to his stomach. "Can I touch you here a little?"

"Only if you want to, Jo."

She moved her hand to the waist of his jeans, over the button and moved slower as she followed his zipper down.

"It's just me," he voice was quiet. He placed a hand on top of Jo's and moved it gently to the side where his bulge was. She didn't pull her hand away or tense up. She just let him lead. He quivered when she touched him, "That is just how I respond," his voice was reassuringly. He lifted his hand from atop hers and she didn't seem to notice. She moved her hand very little, but she was taking it all in and her muscles were still relaxed.

Once Jo got used to the feel of what was under her hand, she embarrassingly asked John if she could feel him a little closer. "If you're sure you want to," John tried to keep his voice steady. "Just so you know, I'm going to respond to your touch. That's just the way it works. But, I'm not going to push anything."

John let Jo be in control. She got the button undone but only moved the zipper down partway. Then her gentle hand caressed him some more. It was hard for John not to move. He tried to keep his breathing steady. It had been so long. But, he was old enough to know that he had to be careful, he didn't want to startle her.

She unzipped him all the way and a sound escaped his lips. "Did I hurt you?" Her attention was turned back to his face.

"No, honey," he laughed a little. "Did Ellen ever have a sex talk with you?"

She shook her head.

"Okay," he moved and motioned for her to rest on his shoulder, "we need to talk." Jo settled in and looked up at John.

"I should know this stuff," Jo was frustrated with herself. "I'm sorry that I am so embarrassed that I don't. I've just learned by trial and error and didn't get to this point."

"That's fine," John brushed her hair back from her face. "Mary and I learned together. It was awkward and frustrating at times. But I can share with you what I've learned. Love is something you make together. No one acts or reacts the same. Everyone has their individual likes and dislikes. We will learn about each other together,"

Jo nodded her head.

"You didn't hurt me, Jo. You just made me feel so good that I couldn't help but make a sound. I tried not to."

"Was it uncomfortable for you?" Jo had such an innocence in her eyes.

John shook his head. "It is just that once things start going on down there, it is very hard to shut them off. When you finished unzipping, you set that part of me free. That's the reason for the sound." Jo was still looking at him intently. "Once so much pleasure has built up, it needs to be released. You don't need to worry about it because it is something I can do myself. You can still get comfortable with that part of me, just don't be surprised if I leave the room. It isn't because I am upset. I just need to release."

"Does my touch feel different that yours?" Jo asked.

"Yes," John admitted. "All I have felt is my own hand every now and then since the fire. It feels much better when it is yours."

"Can I see it?" Jo couldn't believe she was being so forward.

"Sure," he laughed a little. "Just let me slide out of my jeans and shorts."

He settled back onto the bed. "Does it always look like that?" Jo asked.

"No, just when it is being touched or the thoughts in my head turn towards intimate situations."

Jo reached out and laid her hand softly on him. "Your skin is so silky. I had no idea it would be like that." She was quiet for a minute. "How do you know if it is going to fit?"

"It will fit," John assured her. "It is just a matter of being gentle and allowing the muscles in you stretch if or when they need to. The first time hurts for you, because there is a thin piece that needs to be broken to allow me in."

"How bad does it hurt?" Jo asked before she remembered she was talking to a guy and turned beet red.

"Well, all I know about it is what happened with Mary. She cried a little and there was some blood. The next couple times she was sort of sore, too. But, it is something that goes away. That's when making love becomes more enjoyable for the lady. I'm sorry to keep bringing Mary up, but she's all I know. I don't know how it goes for other women."

"What happened when Mary started to cry or got sore?" Jo wanted to know how John had reacted when things in the bedroom didn't go smoothly.

"I retreated and held her," John was surprised to be relating intimate details of his life with Mary to his wife-to-be. He decided that Mary wouldn't have minded. She would have wanted to ease Jo's fears. "I just need to know what you are feeling, and if it is unpleasant, we stop. I would never push myself on you or continue if I knew you were hurting."

Jo breathed a sigh of relief. John could see her mind processing away when he looked into her eyes. "Isn't there friction?"

John nodded. "There will always be lubrication to make the friction feel good and not bad. Sometimes, if the lady is stressed out or just can't be in the moment enough to produce enough lubricant to make herself slippery, there is store-bought lubricant that can be used."

"I would be too shy to buy that in such a small town."

"Then I will just in case we need it one day. What do you think about birth control? That would be in the same aisle too, that's why I am asking."

"Should I be on the pill?" Jo wasn't sure how to go about it, but she'd try if it was something John thought she should do.

"That depends on you," John answered. "The pill would provide constant protection from pregnancy. I know they have condoms, but there are probably other items out there since I needed them. There is also the rhythm method, not always dependable, when I would pull out before I climaxed."

"When do we have to make the decisions by?" Jo bit her lip.

"No timeline. Just let me know."

"How about our wedding night? Isn't that kind of a tradition?"

"Doesn't have to be," John answered. "If it is something you want to do, we can. If you don't want to, we can wait. I don't want our wedding day or night to be something you stress about. Just let me know when you are ready."

"I don't think I want to take the pill," Jo said. "I've heard all the warnings and it doesn't sound good."

"Do you want to have a baby?"

"Lately I have been thinking so. It's just such a change from wanting to be a hunter."

"Do you still want to hunt?" asked an interested John.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "I dream of having a home and family more, though, lately. Before I didn't think that it was an option for me. Do you want a baby?"

"It seems strange that I'm this old thinking about a baby. It doesn't seem like that long ago that Dean and Sam were babies. I know I'd love a baby if we were lucky enough to have one. But, if you don't want to have a baby, that's okay, too. Then, you should probably be on the pill."

"Maybe we could just do the rhythm method," Jo decided. "You know your body well enough to know when to pull out, right?"

"But it isn't one hundred percent. Are you willing to take that chance on having a baby?"

"Yes. Just not right now."

John just kissed her. "Not right now is fine with me." 


	5. The Wedding

A Chance to Love - 5 of 11

The Wedding

Before they knew it, it was the day before their wedding. Sam and Dean were already in town. Jo had managed to buy a home and the boys were staying there with him. They had warmed up to the idea of Jo being part of their family. John could tell they really liked having a place to call home. He regretted how much they had moved around when the boys were little. But, back then he was doing what he though was best. Now he was doing what he knew was best.

Ellen and Jo were busy with the last minute details. Bobby and Pastor Jim arrived in the evening. Ash, well, he tended to live at the Roadhouse.

Jo spent the last night in the room that she'd grown up in. She looked around and took in all the details. It didn't look as it usually had because she had moved some of her belongings to the house for her and John.

There was a knock on the door and she heard her mom's voice on the other side. "Come on in," she said, still lost in her thoughts.

"How do you feel about getting married tomorrow? Having any second thoughts?"

"No, mom," Jo smiled. She knew her mom was happy about the wedding.

Ellen sat down on the bed by her daughter. "Well, I guess this is the last night you get to be my little girl," she brushed Jo's hair back. "I just wish your dad could see you now. He'd be so proud of you and so happy for you.." She struggled for a moment to find the words and took one of Jo's hands in hers. "John's a good man, Jo. He's not like the other hunters. He'll protect and love you until the end of forever. But, if it turns out that it isn't the case, I want to be the first person you come to. I want to make sure you get the happy life you deserve. But, I've known John for so many years. He seems to wear his heart on his sleeve around you."

Silence.

"Mom, why didn't you ever give me the birds and the bees talk?"

"I guess I just figured you somehow knew. I was so busy running the Roadhouse and I thought you would have picked up bits and pieces from the hunters and their stories. Once the guys took an interest in you, I assumed you'd figured it out with one of them. Why?"

"John had to explain things to me." Jo didn't look up from her bedspread.

Ellen was shocked. "Well, John would never mislead you, Jo. It is last minute here, but do you have anything you need to know?"

"Do you think I'll be a good wife even though---considering my inexperience?"

"I think you'll be a wonderful wife. You'll have an understanding husband. Experience is just your past. You have your future to look to now. Don't be scared of being with John. He is very kind."

Jo just nodded. She felt better that she and Ellen had had a short talk. Ellen kissed Jo on the forehead, and gave her a hug as she told her goodnight. Ellen remembered bittersweetly that it would be the last night for her to do that. She stayed strong, though, and the tears didn't come until she was safely in her own room.

Ellen made sure every man had a flower on his lapel. Then she had to ask John to help her with her flower. Ellen noticed that his hands were a little shaky. "What's wrong with you, John?" She teased. John just blushed. "Why don't you get someone else to help me out here before you stab me?"

Pastor Jim came over and pinned Ellen's flower on. "John's just a little nervous, Ellen. Go easy on him."

"Sure," she replied before she went into Jo's room to help her get ready.

Jo had picked a long gown with lace sleeves and a high collar. There were so many little buttons. The dress was so detailed and delicate. Jo's face just beamed. Ellen helped her with her veil. Jo decided to start the ceremony with the veil down and let John put it up during the ceremony. Ellen took another look at her little girl all grown up. "Ready to go? They are waiting for you."

Jo started out of her room and Ellen followed behind, carrying part of Jo's train.

Pastor Jim stood ready at the end of the makeshift aisle. To the right stood John with Sam and Dean. Bobby and Ash were each seated facing Pastor Jim. Ash saw Ellen and Jo standing there and started pushed play for the 'Wedding March'.

Jo looped her hand through Ellen's arm and held her pink tulips with both hands. They walked up the aisle, slowly to the music. Although neither one said so, their legs were like jell-o for different reasons. Jo, because it was her wedding day. Ellen, she was giving away her little girl.

Ellen stood by Jo's side through the ceremony. After the vows, Ellen saw John's face as he lifted Jo's veil. He was close to tears. They shimmered in his eyes. He put his arms at Jo's waist so they could get closer.

John's lips touched Jo's so gently. Over and over his kisses were tender. When they came up for air, Bobby said," I think he meant just one kiss, John." Most of them laughed. John and Jo turned a little red.

They had some music playing and everyone wanted to dance with the happy couple. The first dance was for John and Jo. There was no space between them as they slow danced. They looked like they belonged together. The doubts about the age difference went away. Jo's gown floated across the floor and John actually wore a suit.

Sam and Dean watched their Dad and Jo from the bar. Sam started to laugh out of the blue.

"What?" Dean demanded.

"You kissed our step-mom! Is any of this strange to you?"

"That was a long time ago, dude," Dean took a swallow of his beer. "Clearly, she belonged with Dad." And he walked off.

Sam was still shaking his head at the thought. His dad had just said that Jo would be joining their family. It didn't hit Sam until he saw them dancing at their wedding that technically she was his step-mom.

Dean danced with Jo. He thought about how Jo looked so radiant and in love. "I'm sorry about before--" he started out.

"It was wrong place, wrong time," she smiled up at him. "Now we're family. You and Sam will always have a home with us. I plan on you two being regulars. John worries about you. Having you stop by often might ease his mind."

Dean promised to make a point of coming home often. Jo was happy that she and Dean could be friends without it being awkward.

When Sam took Jo in his arms, her neck hurt from looking up at him. Sam was a quiet soul but he did say that she and John made a wonderful couple. Behind the laughter Jo knew that he was missing Jessica, the woman from college that he'd planned to propose to. The demon had killed her the same way he'd killed Mary.

Ellen danced with John. "You take good care of my little girl, John."

"She quit being a little girl quite a while ago," John gave Ellen one of his warm smiles. "She's grown into a beautiful woman. She's my wife . . . I still can't get used to saying that. We'll take care of each other. You don't need to worry about having her move far away, either. I like it here."

"I trust you to keep your word," Ellen sighed. "It's just hard to think that I'll be living all alone."

"We aren't far away," John assured her. "Jo will still be here to help out and I'll still be a regular. I'll help out, too, you know."

"I know," Ellen was silent. "It's just a big change."

"Yes it is," John couldn't think of anything to say to make Ellen feel better.

After their goodbyes, John helped Jo get in his truck. He had to be careful not to get her dress caught into anything. He shut her door and put her overnight bag in the back.

John had registered at the motel earlier in the day. He'd bought champagne and had it on ice. He'd also brought candles that he'd scattered around the room. They pulled in the parking lot and he parked in front of their motel room. Jo started to try to organize her dress to get out. "Just wait here a minute while I open up the room."

Jo wasn't sure what he was up to, but she was excited and willing to wait. She liked surprises.

Jo didn't close the door the whole way on his way out. He went out to the truck, grabbed the bags and went back in. He was out in a flash, still leaving the door ajar. He walked to the passenger side of the car, opened Jo's door, and leaned in to give her a kiss. "Good evening, Mrs. Winchester."

"Good evening Mr. Winchester," she smiled and started to laugh.

John reached in and picked Jo up. "What are you doing?" She was startled to be off the ground.

"Carrying my wife over the threshold," John said with a smile. He kicked the truck door shut, the motel door open and then shut again. He carefully navigated the doorway holding his treasured bride.

When he set her down, she saw the flickering candlelight in the room, and knew what a special man John was. She stretched to give him a kiss and put her arms around his neck. "This is beautiful,"

"No. You are beautiful," he replied. He put his hands on her waist and they slow danced to a song that only they could hear. It was relaxing and sensual and so right for them.

John popped the champagne, and poured them each a glass. "I just thought the occasion called for something special."

Jo smiled as she took a glass. "To us and our love," John's voice was full of feeling.

"To us and our love," Jo repeated as they clicked glasses. She took a sip and it tasted so good.

"Come here, my wife," Jo couldn't help but follow that voice. "How did you like the day's festivities?"

"They were all I thought they would be."

"Really? You're in love with a man who is imperfect by far."

"But you are perfect to me." She'd finished her glass and set it down. She became mesmerized by his lips. She started kissing John and could not get enough of his lips. She parted her lips and hungrily tasted his mouth.

John's hands moved from her waist and up her sides. His lips moved from her mouth to her jaw line. He found her ear and kissed and nibbled it. Jo shivered. John noticed the change in her breathing. "I want to free you from this dress," John whispered in the ear he had been attending to.

"Go ahead," Jo turned around and held her long hair to the side.

John nuzzled her neck and the smell of her hair was intoxicating. He slowly handled the pearl buttons at her collar. He kissed her newly revealed skin as he moved on with the buttons. His kisses moved to her shoulders. He pressed his lips to the crook of her neck and drew in, gently sucking. Jo sighed.

Partway down the back, he discovered that there was a zipper under the rest of the small buttons. He unzipped it and let it fall to the ground. He walked around to face Jo and took her hands to help her step over the fluffy dress.

He saw an angel standing before him. She had white under things, a garter belt, nylons and a garter. In the flickering candlelight, he saw her smile and walk toward him. His hands went to her waist and he pulled her close. She raised her arms up to his shoulders. He reached around her waist and opened the clasp for her bridal bra. It fell and Jo was able to breathe regular again for the first time all day.

He stepped back and took in the image of Jo. She seemed shy, but she didn't try to hide anything. "You are so beautiful, Jo," he could hardly catch his breath to say the words.

He knelt before her and started to slide her garter down her leg. Jo ran her fingers through his hair. She lifted her foot slightly as he slid it around her heel and off her foot. Next, he unclipped the nylon on one leg. He methodically removed the nylon as he left a trail of kisses down her leg. He ran his hands up her other leg, feeling the material of the nylons Jo bought just for today. When the last nylon was freed, John slid his hands up the sides of her legs. He slid a finger under the sides of her garter belt and slowly drug it to the floor.

He started to kiss her legs, slowly moving upward. When he got to her knees, he placed a kiss on the inside of her thigh. "Do you want me to stop?" he laid his head against her thigh and waited for her answer.

"Not now," she was breathless. "Just love me."

John continued to move his kisses up her inner thighs. Softly, tenderly, his lips made a wandering trail. Jo started to breathe heavy, John was glad that Jo was giving into the pleasure.

John laid his head against her flat stomach and kissed a line above her panties. "Ooh, John," Jo's voice sounded how John felt. "I---- don't stop----please---"

He slid her panties down and helped her step out of them Then, he admired his bride in the candlelight. She looked back at him, comfortable, and in love.

Slowly, she walked toward John, wearing nothing but her wedding ring. She unbuttoned his jacket and helped him shrug it off. She fumbled with the tie, not knowing how it worked. John took his tie off and then started to caress Jo's soft skin. Jo tried to concentrate on the buttons on his shirt, but the sensation of John's hands on her was very, well, distracting.

Once his shirt was off, Jo pressed herself against him. She loved the tickle of his hairy chest against her.

"Mmmm," John's voice rumbled. "I'll just follow your lead."

"You'll need to lead when I get lost," she replied. She moved her head to get a kiss. Slowly, she worked the belt buckle, button and zipper. "Please get naked for me. I want to see my husband."

John obliged her and took her back into his arms. They moved in their own slow dance. Attire was wedding rings only.

John pulled back the covers and eased into bed. He held the covers up for her. Jo came to their bed and eased into John's awaiting embrace.

They laid facing each other. Gazing into each others eyes. Exploring the feel of each other. John moved his hands from her waist to her lower abdomen. "Can I?" his voice was close to her ear.

"Yes….."

His hand ventured lower. "Do I lead now?"

"Yes…."

He eased his hand between her thighs and just gently rubbed the outside of her womanhood. When he felt moisture, he ventured a small distance inside, keeping his touch soft.

"I want to tonight," she had a hard time forming the words. She tried to reach for John below the waist and only managed to brush against him. "I really want you tonight."

John had heard the words he'd hoped she say one day. He didn't let his emotion change anything. He kept going slowly.

With one hand, he led her hand to where he was throbbing. He sucked in when she started to move her hand.

John kept moving his hand and fingers, caressing. Jo didn't tense up, she started to move her hips.

"I can go in just a little," John whispered. "You tell me if you need me to stop."

Jo couldn't find the words. She just nodded at she looked at him, full of trust and love. His eyes drank in the trust and love and it surrounded him.

He moved into place and started to enter. He stopped and said, "Just relax a little, honey. I'm not going to force anything.." Then his lips captured hers. Jo was so engrossed in kissing that John was able to move just a little further. Jo noticed, but continued to kiss John.

When John felt resistance inside her, he looked directly into Jo's eyes. "This is where it will hurt," he apologized. "Do you want to stop?"

"It has to happen sometime, right?" she sounded unsure. John just nodded. "Have you done this before?" she asked.

"Just with Mary," he confided. "I can be as gentle as I can while I get through. Then, I will just stay still. From there on, it's up to you."

"Let's get it over with," Jo said. "I want to make love to you every night. If we have to do this first, I just want it done. I'm glad it's you. I feel safe with you."

John returned his mouth to hers. After a few moments, he broke through the barrier and Jo cried out. He held himself still. He wiped away a tear on her face. "How are you doing?"

"It is getting better," she said in a shaky voice. "My first instinct was to push you off me."

"This will make it better," John's voice comforted her. He moved slightly and Jo's face went from hurting to unsure. So, he continued on, gently stroking, hoping it would take the pain away. When he started to feel friction, he pulled out.

"How are you doing now?" His face showed concern.

"Better than at first. It will get easier, right?" She looked at him for reassurance.

"More than that," John responded. "It will be pleasurable. It will be something that you desire to do. That is why they call it making love." He reached his hand back down and said," Let me show you something."

She looked nervous.

"Just trust me. I'll make it better." She could have fallen into those big brown eyes. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

John probed softly until he found what he was looking for. When his finger hit the nub, Jo let out a surprised, "Oh!"

"Concentrate on the sensations," he tried to help her along as he followed what she responded to. The nub was like a magic button. Jo started to move her hips and turn her head from side to side. "It's okay to make sounds or tell me what you want," he ran a finger across her lower lip, which she'd been biting.

He watched her face as he brought her higher, higher, and over. Her body shook with spasms.

"That--That felt wonderful," Jo was breathless. "What was it?"

"Orgasm," was his simple reply. "I'm glad I was able to make you feel better." He fell into her embrace and they fell asleep with their limbs entangled.

They awoke around noon. Their stomachs woke them up. They went to a restaurant and then back to bed for some more sleep. More cuddling. More love.

Jo grew comfortable with their lovemaking. John was happy that she was able to enjoy a marital benefit.

"Here come the Honeymooners," Dean was sitting on the couch when they walked in. "Enjoy your trip?"

Jo turned beet red.

"Yeah, we did. Have you guys been making yourself at home?"

"Sure have," Dean replied. "Had a heck of a time stopping Sammy from putting devil's traps all over, though. Didn't know if Jo was into that type of decor."

"I don't know either. But, Sam meant well."

"Welcome back," Sam came in from the kitchen. "We're out of peanut M&Ms. If you want to make a list, we'll go to the store."

"I'll go check the cupboards," Jo was unsure of how much the boys had eaten while they were gone.

"How's married life treating you, Dad?" Dean asked.

"Good. Very good." He smiled at Dean. "You should try it sometime."

"Oh, it's not for me. I don't have a favorite kind of ice cream. I like all 31 flavors." Dean smirked.

Jo returned with a list and Dean hopped off the couch. "Ready to go, Sammy?" he asked. Sam had his mouth too full to answer. He followed Dean out the door with a sandwich in hand. Sam was always hungry.

"Don't let Dean get to you," John told Jo. "He's just trying to get you to blush. You don't have to be ashamed of what we've been doing. What we have is a gift. A glorious gift."

"It'll just take some getting used to," Jo came in for a kiss.

The next time John was at the Roadhouse, he had a run in with Cole. John was just sitting at a time when Cole stomped over. "You with Jo?" Cole asked in a voice that was meant to intimidate.

"Yeah," John drawled as his eyes met Cole's. John stayed relaxed on the outside but he knew Cole could fly off the handle and John was ready to spring into action if he had to. His hands still encircled his beer.

"Why would she date a guy like you?" Cole said. "You're nothing special. I'm younger and a great hunter."

"Apparently she didn't see it that way," John kept his cool.

"You knew we were going out--" Cole Started.

"That was over before I even entered the picture," John explained.

"She'll come back to me," Cole was a stubborn one. "She knows to come back to me."

That sounded a little odd to John, and more than a little threatening. "Stay away from Jo, Cole. If you mess with her, I might have to get involved."

"Oh, like you could ever hurt me," Cole found it impossible.

"I could. I've been at this hunter thing longer than you. I have learned more because I have had more time to. Don't try to set me off. As far with Jo, it wouldn't take hardly any provocation and I'd be on your case."

"Are your threatening me?" Cole put both hands flat on the table and leaned toward John.

"Nope. Just a warning." John still hadn't moved. He looked directly into Cole's eyes.

"Whatever," Cole responded as he whirled around and went to a table on the other side of the room.

A few minutes later, Jo came up behind John, rested her arms on his shoulders and kissed his hair. "What did Cole want?"

"You," John clasped one of her hands in his. "Let me know if he even talks to you in the wrong tone, okay?"

"Sure, babe," she stood back up. "I should be able to leave soon."

"No hurry," John said. "I know Ellen misses you."

"But I'm missing time with my husband," she said in a hushed tone. Her eyes were sparkling.

John moved so Jo could sit on his lap. He kissed her ear and whispered," I really, really miss my wife." John was delighted to see Jo's face blush at the mention of marital activities even though she had brought it up first.

"I'll go tell Mom I'm going," Jo was hurrying away.

John just laughed to himself. How did he get so lucky? He'd found real love two times in one lifetime.

As they walked out with Jo's fingers looped in John's jeans and Johns arm around her shoulders, their mind was already at home. They didn't catch Cole's glare, trying to burn a hole through John's back.

They turned the corner and saw the Impala parked in front of their house. "I still--" Jo hoped John could fill in the rest of her sentence for her.

"It's fine," John reasoned. "Sam and Dean have the spare room and the couch. I know this is the first time with them home, but isn't going to be the last."

John didn't seem concerned about it, so Jo figured it would be okay. If it wasn't okay, John would fix it.

Sam was crouched over his computer, doing research. Dean had maps and papers scattered out in front of him. They were busy matching up information, trying to figure out where they needed to go on the road next.

"Hey," Dean waved distractedly when he heard them come in. Sam waved from where he was.

"Onto something?" John asked walking over to Dean.

"Not yet. Just some interesting things happening, but no pattern as of yet," Dean put his pen in his mouth as he shuffled some papers.

"Thanks for getting internet," it was the first time Sam had spoken. "I like being able to relax here and yet still be connected to whatever our next job might be."

"Gets us home more often, too." Dean smirked, "Sick of us yet?"

"Of course not," Jo stepped in. "You don't know how bad this big guy worries when you're gone."

After the boys left for the Roadhouse in the evening, Jo breathed a sigh of relief. "I have you all to myself now," she wrapped her arms around him.

"Hmm," John was smiling wide. "Now that you have me, what do you plan on doing with me?"

Jo started to laugh and kissed him.

Dean and Sam were just having a brew at a table when a guy came up and slammed himself into an empty chair. "Who does your dad think he is?" he angrily asked.

Dean and Sam looked at each other. "John," Dean smirked and stated plainly," he thinks he is John."

"Why is he dating Jo?" The man was still angry.

Dean shrugged," Because he can?" Sam was taking it all in, wondering who the guy was.

"No he can't! She belongs to me!" the man was on his feet in a flash. "The next time I see the two of them together, I'm going to beat the crap out of him and she'll realize that she needs to be with me!"

"Not such a good plan, buddy," Dean explained. "John isn't a wimp and girls aren't actually impressed by fighting." He paused for a minute while the man let it sink in. "Got a Plan B? Or another girl in mind?"

"Nope. Just Jo."

"Well, good luck then," Dean said as Sam stood and went to see Ellen at the bar.

"Who is that guy?" Sam asked her.

"Oh, that is Cole. He had it bad for Jo. She liked him, too, but he screwed it up somehow. She hasn't talked to him since."

"He thinks he is going to give Dad a beating and therefore win Jo back. He's planning it for the next time he sees them together. How he worded his relationship with Jo was more like ownership or she knew better than to leave him. What's up with that?"

"I don't know," Ellen replied. "But I thought there was something fishy with him. I'm glad she broke it off with him."

"Me, too." Sam asked, "Does he still come here much?"

"Every chance he gets," Ellen was disgusted.

"Why?"

"Still carrying a torch, I guess. I haven't kicked him out yet but I will if he gets too rowdy," Ellen wasn't going to put up with anything from Cole just because he liked Jo. 

"Dean and I plan on sticking around for awhile, so Cole shouldn't give you any problems. With your permission, we could just handle it. That way he wouldn't have any ill will against you."

"That'd be great, Sam. Thanks."

Sam went back to the table and Cole was still shooting his mouth off. Dean was enjoying it, throwing in all the snappy comebacks he could think of.

John was watching television when the boys came home. Jo had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. Even though Dean and Sam had thought it odd that John and Jo had become a couple, it just seemed natural to walk in on that scene.

"Do you know a guy named Cole?" Sam asked John in a quiet voice so as not to wake Jo.

"I've met him a couple times," John's deep voice rumbled and Jo started to stir. John gently lifted Jo's head off his shoulder, stood up from the couch, and laid her down. "Just rest, baby," he whispered to he as he covered her up with a blanket. She settled right in.

Dean and Sam were in the kitchen waiting for him. They knew their Dad well enough to know that there was more to the story, especially since he did not want to talk about it around Jo. "Let's go into the spare room," John told them when he got in the kitchen. The kitchen was right off the living room and the spare room was further away from Jo and had a door to close. Jo was asleep but apparently John didn't want to take any chances. Dean and Sam just looked at each other as they followed John. Whatever it was, it had to be big--and not related to hunting. They spoke about hunting in front of Jo all the time. Usually she was the one who brought it up.

The door clicked shut and the light switched on. The room had the basics, bedside table, lamp, clock, small dresser, and the bunk beds were a new addition. "We didn't want you to flip to see who got the couch anymore. Does it make you feel like kids again?"

"Sorta," Dean replied. "Now we can flip for top or bottom bunk."

"Well, at least you have a room that is yours," John was proud that he could provide that simple piece of comfort for his sons after all these years.

"So what is up with this Cole character?" Sam asked. "Ellen sure doesn't like him."

"Sammy and I had to escort him out of the bar tonight," Dean tossed in. "He doesn't hold his liquor very well."

"He also seemed to have a problem with his hands. There were two ladies in the Roadhouse, you know how there aren't very many, and he refused to take 'no' for an answer from either one of them. We had to peel him off of one of the girls to throw him out." Sam spoke up.

"Were the girls alright?" John asked.

"Fine. Oh, they were fine…" Dean's voice trailed off and he got that smirky smile of his that the girls had found hard to resist.

"They were in good enough shape to flirt with Dean," Sam shook his head at his brother's answer. "No real harm done. We followed them home to make sure they made it there okay."

"Good." John replied. "Cole isn't exactly a gentleman, I'm glad you two got him out of there."

"Why is he so upset with you, Dad?" Sam sat on the bottom bunk and leaned forward to keep from hitting his head on the top bunk.

"Because I have Jo," John's answer was simple.

"Did you step in when he was dating Jo?" Dean was trying to find the reason Cole was so obsessed with Jo.

"Nope."

"Have you ever gotten into it with him before?" Sam tried a different angle.

"Not really," John started to reveal how he'd had run ins with Cole before but Cole was the only one who ever got excited about them. John had stayed cool and calm.

"Cole is convinced that you stole Jo from him." Dean's voice sounded concerned. "He swore he was going to tear you apart the next time he saw you and that Jo would remember that she _belonged_ with him."

John leaned against the dresser. He took a deep breath. "I thought he would get over it. He thinks he's the best hunter, knows it all, and since Jo is the woman he wants, he assumes she wants him too. They went out a couple of times. That's how I know Cole isn't a gentleman. Don't let on to Jo that you know that, though. I'm just telling you two so that you can help me keep Jo safe and help others steer clear of him."

John looked at his sons and realized how different they were. Dean was standing there, mad as hell after hearing that Cole wasn't a gentleman to Jo. Sam's eyes looked so sensitive as he asked,," Is Jo okay?"

John nodded. "We're had some issues to work out, but she's back to being her feisty self. Jo grew up learning about what needed to be hunted. No one ever told her that the men in the Roadhouse could be dangerous. The Roadhouse is her home, or was until we moved here. After all the creatures she knew to be afraid of, she never suspected a human would be one of them."

"Are we agreed that we don't tell Jo?" John asked. "I don't want her to be scared of Cole. I also don't want her to be ashamed around you two. Plus, she might want to strangle me for telling. We just need to keep her safe."

The boys agreed.

John slipped his arms under Jo and picked her up from the couch. When she started to stir, John whispered," Shhh. Sam and Dean are home now. It is time to sleep." Jo settled into John. John looked at his boys and nodded. They nodded back.

That nod meant so many things. It meant goodnight, remember what we talked about, see you in the morning, we need to keep Jo safe, and that they were all on the same page.

Sam and Dean watched John and Jo disappear down the hall. Then they settled into the couch and flipped through the channels.

"Think Dad is in over his head with this Cole?" Sam asked Dean.

"Cole is nuts," Dean stated. "He seems dangerous, too." He thought about it. "Dad has let his guard down a little since he settled down with Jo. He's in love and it might be clouding his instincts and slowing his reflexes. I don't know if Dad is in over his head. We should stop by more often until Cole moves onto his next obsession."

"Fine by me," Sam yawned and stretched. "I'd much rather have a bed to sleep in than the Impala."

"Ain't that the truth," Dean laughed.

Jo awoke in the dark, wondering how she got the bed from the couch. Then, part of her recalled John's whisperings and him carrying her to bed. She moved in closer to John and was surprised to find John awake.

"Something wrong?" she sleepily asked as she kissed his cheek.

John hadn't even noticed that Jo was waking up. His mind had been on Cole. He hadn't been to sleep yet.

"Just can't sleep," John turned to her and smiled. "But I've been watching you sleep. What woke you up?"

She eyed him for a moment, stretched an arm across his chest, whispered," This," and kissed him. She kissed him slow and lovingly. When he put an arm around her, she knew he was reading her message.

One hand stoked her cheek and the other made long strokes along her spine. Her nightgown slipped up with each stoke. Before long, they had shed unnecessary clothing. Jo straddled John. His hands were on her hips, guiding her rhythm. She sprinkled kisses on him as her hair hid her face and drifted against his chest and face.

After, she was sleepy again. She fell asleep in John's arms. John had his cheek resting on her head. The smell of her shampoo and perfume, the softness of her body, her breath whispering against his neck, this is what heaven must be like


	6. Married Life

A Chance to Love - 6 of 11

Married Life

John had found a job at a garage where they paid him cash for each day's work. He still had to keep a low profile. He was gone when Dean and Sam arrived home.

They used their key after no one answered their knock. They were a little cautious out of habit, especially since Jo was usually home during the day and her car was out front. No one was in the living groom.

"Hello!" Dean announced their presence. "Anyone home?"

Silence. Then came a weak, "In here," from the bathroom. It was Jo, but she didn't' sound right.

"Jo?" Sam started to walk down the hall but then noticed the bathroom door was open. He stopped where he was. "Are you okay?" No response. He slipped up the hall little by little until he saw a bare foot lying across the floor. "Can I come in?" Sam started to panic. This time he didn't wait for a response. In no time his long legs had him in the room. He could hear Dean's footsteps behind him.

Jo was lying on the floor in her nightgown that had crusted over vomit on it. Sam knelt down by her and took in what he saw while he tried to get her to talk to him. "Jo? It's Sam."

"Sammy," her voice sounded dry. She was white and clammy. She opened her eyes, searched for Sam's face and whispered a plea," Help me."

"Dean," Sam saw his brother in the doorway," grab a couple blankets."

Sam pinched the skin by her wrist and it tented. She was dehydrated and needed to get help now. Dean returned with blankets.

"Jo," Sam got his arms around her to lift her up," we're bringing you in." When Sam got to his feet, Dean covered Jo in a blanket and held onto the other one. They rushed outside. Dean helped Sam get into the back with Jo.

Dean sped them to the hospital while Sam tried to get Jo to speak to him. "Flu," was all she could get out. Dean cast a worried glance at Sam in the review mirror.

Once there, Jo was whisked off to a room. Sam and Dean answered questions the best they could. Dean went outside to call John while Sam waited in the waiting room.

John was confused. Yes, they'd had the flu a couple of weeks ago. He thought Jo was fine or he wouldn't have gone to work that morning. He rushed to the hospital, thinking that it was a long time to have the flu, praying it wasn't something more serious.

He ran into the reception area and Sam and Dean stood up to meet him. They hadn't heard anything yet. John fought with the nurse to let him back to see Jo. "I'm her partner," John argued, wishing he could say 'husband' but that had to be their secret. "We live together and go through everything together. Jo needs me." The nurse relented and let him back.

Jo was hooked up to an IV. She looked so frail with a green hospital gown and a blanket pulled up to her chin. Her skin looked pasty and clammy. "I'm here," he stroked her hair, and settled in to wait.

Dean was not good at waiting. He shuffled through magazines, hummed and kept looking at the door John had gone through. Sam looked at him and said, "Easy, dude. Just calm down and wait."

"I hate waiting," Dean spat out.

"Staring at the door isn't going to help," Sam looked so relaxed, reading a magazine.

Dean shot him a look in response. He was mad that Sam was right.

John came into the room. Dean told Sam," See, I just had to keep willing him to do that. It worked."

"He would have come out now, either way," Sam replied but knew he would never win this argument with Dean.

John was smiling as he got closer. Sam glanced at Dean, who looked as confused as he was.

"Thanks for bringing her in, boys," John's low voice had a tone to it that the boys had not heard before. Then, he hugged Sam and Dean, who were confounded at this point.

"How's Jo?" Sam voiced up.

"She's still sick. They are giving her fluids right now," John answered. He huge smile spread across his face, "She'll be fine. She's having a baby."

Two shocked faces looked back at him. Then they congratulated him.

"I didn't pick up on it because your Mom didn't get sick with you boys," John explained. "Now there is a whole new list of what she can and can't do. She isn't supposed to lift anything heavy or let herself get worn down. She needs lots of rest and I have to pick up nausea pills and prenatal vitamins. We need to keep her calm. It is so important that Cole not try to cause trouble right now."

Dean and Sam stayed home for awhile, until Jo's morning sickness got better. John went to work because they needed the money. Sam and Dean were able to do research from home. Sam checked frequently on Jo, bringing her crackers and flat soda. Dean didn't do any of that because he wasn't used to being around women like that. Sam and Jess had lived together and he had picked up on how to take care of a woman when she's sick. Also, Dean still felt a little guilty for brushing Jo off in the past and regretted it, too. He was happy for John and Jo, it was just that part of him wondered what if.

They heard racing footsteps in the hall and Sam stood up automatically. He grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and then found Jo clinging to the toilet. "I brought you a glass of water, Jo," Sam had knelt to her height. "Want a nausea pill?"

"Just make this go away, Sam."

"Don't know how to do that, Jo, but I can get your medicine. It's been long enough since the last dose."

"Okay."

Sam got the pills and came back in to see Jo struggling to stand on her wobbly legs. "Wait," Sam put an arm around Jo's waist to steady her. Once he got her to bed, he went back to get the water and pills.

After she took one, Jo tried to find a comfortable spot, "Thanks, Sam." Her eyes closed and though Sam doubted that she was sleeping, at least she was resting.

"She all settled in?" Dean asked as he looked up from the computer.

Sam nodded. "She's very weak, though. Is she supposed to be like that?"

"How would I know?" asked Dean, shocked that Sam had asked him that.

"Do you remember anything when Mom was pregnant with me?"

"Nope. I barely remember the fire. Oh, yeah, I couldn't sit on her lap anymore in the rocking chair and that ticked me off in a major way," Dean replied. "You were getting under my skin before you were even born. Is that what you were looking for?"

"Not exactly. Should we call Dad?"

"Yep. We can bring her in if he thinks we should."

John was at another odd job when he got Dean's call. "Bring her in," John instructed, "and have one of you stay with her until I can get there. I have to finish up this car and then I'll be right there."

"Okay," Dean snapped his phone closed.

"So, do you want to tangle with the nurses to get back with Jo or should I?" Dean asked Sam.

"How about you tangle with them and I'll go back with Jo." Sam replied. "We might need you to cause a distraction while I get back there. Once I'm back there I don't think they can kick me out."

Dean nodded.

The boys went into the bedroom and got Jo. "We're going to bring you in," Sam quietly explained as he gathered her up with some blankets."

"Do you need to bring anything?" Dean asked Jo.

"Why are we going?" Jo asked.

"Dad said we should," Dean answered. "We just want to be on the safe side."

Sam went to pick her up and she protested," I can walk."

"I've seen your version of walking," Sam replied and he lifted her up," and I didn't think it looked too steady. Just let me do this so we can get you there."

Sam set Jo in the backseat and then got in front. Dean had them going as soon as everyone was in.

Getting past the nurse in admitting was so easy it was almost pitiful. "How did you get back here?" Jo asked.

"You know we have our way around the rules," Sam replied.

Jo just smiled. "Your other half must be nearby."

"Waiting Room. Watching Dean try to wait patiently is almost funny. He's like a 6 year old."

"What does he do?" Jo relaxed as Sam talked to her.

"Oh, he hums Metallica, paces the floor, flips through every magazine without reading a word, and then starts with the faces and noises."

"Faces and noises?" She obviously never had to wait with Dean.

"All the huffing and puffing, you'd think he was working out. Then he goes to using each and every face muscle and making the weirdest faces. Dad used to tell him that his face could stay like that when he was little. Dean didn't listen very good back then, either." Sam was smiling.

Jo was quiet for awhile with her eyes shut. "Is John coming?"

"He just has to finish his job," Sam answered. "He wanted one of us to stay with you until he got here."

"Sounds like him," she murmured and fell asleep.

The IV was dripping and the blood pressure cuff kept inflating, beeping with the readings, and deflating. Sam idly watched the numbers, not sure what they meant. He hated how sterile and bright everything was.

A nurse came in and seemed surprised at first to see him there. "I'm Sam, one of her friends. Her partner is on his way and he wanted me here until he comes." She didn't seem to care. She marked down some vitals, checked the IV and left the room.

Jo started to wake up and she seemed a little better after the rest. A radiologist brought in a machine, "The doctor wants an ultrasound. Would you like to have your guest wait in the other room or be present?"

"Sam can stay," Jo sounded a little scared. She reached for his hand. He gave hers a reassuring squeeze.

"Is this your first ultrasound?"

"Yes." Jo seemed unsure. "Should I have had one sooner?"

"Depends on your obstetrician. Who is your obstetrician?"

"I haven't picked one yet. Could I have a list of which ones are taking new clients?"

"Sure. Now we'll check this out to make sure that you are both ok. We should be able to get an estimate of how far along you are." The nurse put the goop on her belly and then started to move the instrument in small movements. Sam and Jo both looked at the small screen.

"Everything seems ok," she said. "You are about 16 weeks along. Would you like a picture for your partner?"

"Yes, please," Jo was choked up after seeing her little bud of a baby.

"Just get some rest and the nurse will be back in to check on you," the radiologist said as she left.

Sam looked at the picture. He could see where some body parts were but developing babies don't look like the ones you hold. Jo had drifted back to sleep. Sam's mind drifted to Jessica. The babies they would have had. He missed her so bad in that instant. He'd gotten better and didn't constantly think of her. There were periods when he would forget, the pain would lessen, and then Wham! Some memory or dream would come back to hit him like a bus. This was one of those moments.

"Can someone named Dean come back?" a nurse asked in a hushed voice. "He's causing quite a stir in the waiting room."

"Send him in," Sam replied, knowing that Dean might be a little at ease back with them before he started having problems sitting still.

Dean almost walked past the room. He took three steps back and found their room. Jo was sleeping. "How is she?" Dean whispered.

"Look at this," Sam handed him the photo.

"Damn!" Dean's voice was louder. "What's wrong with this baby?"

"Nothing," Sam snapped back. "And hush. You don't want to wake Jo. She needs her rest."

"This is what a baby looks like?" Dean was still unsure.

"It's what a 16 week along baby looks like," Sam answered. 'They said everything was okay."

"Dad will be so glad to hear that. I don't know what he'll think of this picture, though."

John came back to their room. Jo was asleep with Sam holding her hand. He was slumped in the chair, half asleep. Dean was fidgeting, pacing and driving himself nuts.

"Looks like I arrived just in time to save you from yourself," John looked at Dean.

"I don't know how Sam can stand it here. I need to be outside, driving, chasing things," Dean started to walk past him. "Sam will fill you in, but both mama and baby are fine."

"Thanks, Dean," John gave him a hug. "we'll see you as soon as Jo is discharged."

Dean left to go pace in the parking lot while he waited for Sam.

"Sammy," John touched his shoulder. "What did the doctor say?"

"She needed more fluids and she had an ultrasound," Sam showed him the picture.

"Is the baby supposed to look like that?" John asked.

Sam's response was an annoyed look.

"They didn't have ultrasounds when you guys were born. This is new to me."

"The baby is fine for being 16 weeks along. They are going to give Jo a list of obstetricians who are taking new patients. She needs to get in to one." That was all the information Sam had for John.

Thanks, Sammy," John gave him a hug. They switched places. Sam stretched and walked toward the door. John took Jo's hand and kissed her forehead.

"John," Jo's voice was soft. "I'm glad you're here."

"Sammy filled me in and showed me our beautiful baby," John continued.

Sam smiled on his way out the door at how his dad had recovered from seeing the ultrasound picture for the first time to telling Jo about their beautiful baby.

John sneaked up behind Jo at the Roadhouse and put his arms around her thickening waist. "Hey you," he said. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"You tell me," Jo turned around and her belly bumped into John. She stood sideways so she could lean against John's chest. His hand immediately went to her belly. He rubbed it in a soothing way.

"You feel great to me. Is the little one giving you any trouble?"

"I think the baby went all out with knees and elbows about twenty minutes ago," Jo told him. "Must be tired by now."

"How's the mama doing?"

"Tired."

"Let me help Ellen and then you can put your feet up."

Jo's old room was still kept up. John brought her back into her childhood bedroom, and put pillows under her feet when she laid down. He covered her up and closed the door quietly.

"She asleep?" Ellen asked.

"Close to it." John replied. "So how do you feel about becoming a grandma?"

"I'm not old enough and it isn't fair. We're around the same age and you'll be a parent again and I get the title of grandma. Do I look like a grandma to you?"

"You'll always look like an Ellen to me," John got a big smile. He busied himself behind the bar. Ellen came to him with drink orders and he filled them. Folks sat at the bar and he served them.

"How dare you come here!" John looked up to find Cole glaring at him.

"I'm helping out," John answered. "What would you like to drink?"

"I want Jo."

"She's not a drink and she's not available." John stayed calm.

"Thought I told you not to come back here," Ellen showed up at the bar.

"I figured I'd stayed away long enough."

"Long enough for what?" John asked.

"Long enough for Jo to tire of you and beg me to take her back," Cole snapped.

"Well, it hasn't happened. Anything else I can help you with?"

"I want to see Jo."

"Why," Ellen asked.

"I never got the chance to apologize or say goodbye," Cole faked an excuse.

"Will you leave and never come back if I allow you to see Jo," John's voice was steady.

"Yes, I will," Cole agreed.

"Okay. Don't get too comfortable then. I'll go get Jo and then you can be on your merry way for the rest of your life." John left the bar and went into Jo's room.

"Honey?" He woke Jo up. "Cole is here and he said that he'll quit bothering us if he can see you to apologize to you and say goodbye. Then he said he'll be gone for good."

"Sounds like a deal," Jo dragged herself off the bed. "Then, can we go home?"

"That shouldn't be a problem."

Jo grabbed his arm and walked out into the Roadhouse. Cole was still hanging around the bar. Cole's eyes got huge when he saw that Jo was expecting. "Cole," she looked across the bar at him," you wanted to talk to me?"

"Wow. I didn't expect that you'd be----I mean-----"

"Pregnant?" Jo broke in." Just had to meet the right guy, I guess."

"I'm sorry for how I treated you and how we broke up," Cole started. "I wish I could take back the mean things I said and did. I guess I just wanted to see you so I could say goodbye. I'm headed for the coast for good. Hunting doesn't suit me as well as I thought it would."

"Goodbye," Jo gave him a small smile. "Apology accepted. Good luck on the coast. You'll meet the one for you, Cole. It just wasn't me."

"Well, I guess I've said what I've some to say. Goodbye." Cole turned around and walked out.

"Did that seem like an act to you?" Ellen asked John.

John shook his head. "I'm not sure. Is it okay if this gal goes home for the night? If Dean or Sam are home, I can send them over to help."

Ellen laughed," I don't know if I could handle their kind of help. Dean would be flirting and Sam would be talking to Ash about hunts. Just go home and we'll see you tomorrow evening."

"Bye, Ellen."

"Bye, Mom"

The boys were having a disagreement about whether something was their kind of job when John and Jo arrived home. The case was close to home. They tried to tell John about it, both at the same time.

John held a hand up," Hold up, one at a time."

Dean started explaining his side and then Sam. "What will you lose by checking it out?" John asked. "You'd be gone one day if it isn't anything supernatural and maybe three if it is." He watched the two look at each other and shrug. "Do you love fighting over the remote and hanging out at the Roadhouse more than being on the road? Home and the Roadhouse will always be here. Whatever you might need to hunt won't be."

"You're right," Dean gave in. "We'll leave in the morning after we have all the information gathered that we can find here."

"You sure you're just not getting sick of us?" Sam asked John.

"Never," John replied. "I just think you are going stir crazy, bickering, and bugging the hell out of each other. Maybe a little work would burn off some steam."

"You belong here," Jo said. "You are family. That will never change."

Sam caught a look at Jo and noticed that she'd given up on her clothes and was wearing one of John's shirts. She had a glow to her and her maternal joy was beautiful. Jo noticed Sam's glance and said," The little bugger is kicking. Want to feel?"

Sam nodded and moved over. He placed his had on her belly and felt the flutter of the life inside her. It filled him with wonder. What would the baby be like, look like, who would the baby grown up to be….. "Feels like a flutter from here," he commented.

"It feels like I kick from my side,' Jo smiled. "Dean, did you want to-"

"Nope," he cut her off. "Not to be rude, but I keep seeing the scene from 'Alien'. They are all peacefully eating when all of a sudden the baby alien rips out of the guy's stomach. I'll be great to the baby when it's out of there. I'm just not so great with it right now."

"That's ok," Jo smiled. "But you do know that babies aren't made by aliens, right?"

"Right," Dean smirked. "They're made by my dad."

John laughed.

Later that night, Jo slipped into one of John's t-shirts before going to bed. She was tired these days, so she was usually in bed before him. He was sitting up with the boys, planning their next day. John hadn't left much to hunt since they got married. He hadn't left at all since they found out they were expecting. He did research, looking for the yellow-eyed demon. He just didn't go chasing every little detail like he used to. Jo knew John must miss hunting. She loved him all the more for putting their little family first.

The three guys went to bed about the same time. As John brushed his teeth, he could hear Sam and Dean, excited about their outing. It brought a smile to his face.

He didn't turn on the light because he didn't want to wake Jo up. So, he stood in the doorway until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. First thing he saw was the pillows Jo had surrounded herself with so that she could get a better night's sleep. There were so many pillows in their bed these days that there was hardly any room left for him. Sometimes he took the place of some pillows, with parts of Jo sprawled atop him. He never complained about it. Whatever he could do to help make her comfortable.

He tried to silently creep into bed, but Jo was a light sleeper. "Come here, baby," her voice was so sleepy.

John moved a few pillows and settled in. Jo moved around until she and her belly were comfortable. "Hmmm. I like having company in bed."

"Had any visitors besides me lately?"

"Mom stopped by the other day and we just sat here, talking," was her answer. "I think I fell asleep on her in the middle of our conversation."

"That's excusable," John played with her silky hair which had grown so long since she started taking the prenatal vitamins.

"I love you, John," she laid her hand on his chest.

"I love you , too, honey," he quit stroking her hair and laid his hand on her belly. He slowly started to rub it.

He recalled when Mary was pregnant. She'd never been sick. She'd had so much energy. She'd been a little challenged when she tried to keep up with Dean while expecting Sammy. He'd loved the way her body changed when she was pregnant. He'd missed being able to monitor the baby at night by just putting a hand on her stomach. He knew if the baby was awake or sleeping just by that simple touch.

Now, he monitored this baby the same way. Jo had a harder pregnancy but the doctor assured her that the baby was healthy. At the last ultrasound, they had been asked if they wanted to know the gender of the baby. Neither of them did. That was something that was easy to agree on. Jo loved surprises.

Because of Mary, he knew little things that he could do to try to make it easier on Jo. Pillows was the first item he tried and it worked. If the baby was awake at night and not allowing Jo to sleep, making love slowly could lull the baby back to sleep. That was a technique they tried often so that Jo wouldn't be so drained.

During the night, the baby woke and all Jo had to whisper was his name. He'd already felt the movement. He reached around her belly to her panties that were squished under her belly. He slowly removed them. He felt Jo to see if her body was ready for him. She wasn't ready and she was so tired. "Just a minute, baby," he reached into the nightstand for some lubricant and worked some into Jo's folds. She sighed. Then he covered himself with it. He moved around to get positioned right. He replaced some pillows under Jo to give her some support.

When he glided in, Jo started sounds that assured him that he was moving the way that felt comfortable for her. Sometimes what he tried one night didn't work the next. He kept his motions slow and steady. This was one time when he could comfort both Jo and the baby at the same time.

Afterwards, Jo whispered," Thanks."

"I'm open for service 24 hours a day," John smiled and kissed her. "It was my pleasure. Goodnight, Jo."

Sam had one of his nightmares, so he got up for a drink of water. He heard the creaking from John and Jo's room down the hall. He wasn't quiet enough getting back to bed because Dean was awake when he entered their room.

"I didn't know they could do that anymore," Dean stated bluntly.

"Apparently they can," Sam replied. "Come on, you didn't think it was prohibited the whole time, did you?"

"How would I know?"

"I just thought that you might have hung around women enough to pick up on certain things. They have conversations about anything with each other. Didn't you ever listen?" Sam asked.

"I blocked it out as soon as I wasn't the topic anymore," Dean admitted. Figured.

"One of Jess's friends had a baby in college. I'd pick up on information just hearing Jess's end of the phone call. Then, when she'd hang up, she'd usually tell me what they were talking about." 

"You wanted to hear about a pregnant lady?" Dean almost choked.

"No," Sam replied. "Jess was excited for her friend and she wanted to share it with me. Since I loved her, I listened to lots of conversations that weren't what I would have picked. But, they were important to Jess, so they were important to me."

"Did you two ever plan on a future?"

"I'd been looking at engagement rings. I'd been looking at them for quite awhile. In the meantime, Jess and I got pregnant and lost the baby. She was just coming out of that dark period when she was killed. She never knew I had planned on proposing. I never wanted her to think it was because of the baby. After the baby was gone, it was all I could do to hold myself together and try to help her."

"Did she get sick like Jo?" Dean asked. He knew there was more to his brother's pain than what he'd already said.

"Just a little," Sam went on. "She was doing okay, no problems. I used to love to feel her lower belly where I knew our baby was growing. Just knowing the baby was there made it a special connection to me." He fell silent for awhile, thinking of how to explain the next part so Dean would understand. "I was working on homework when Jess yelled for me from the kitchen. She was doubled over in pain and blood dripped down her leg from her denim shorts. The panic and fear on her face, I'll never forget it. I called for an ambulance. Then I scooped her up and held her while she cried into my neck. At least by holding her I was doing something. I felt powerless. There was nothing I could do to fix it."

"Couldn't the doctors do anything?" Deans' voice was soft in the dark.

"No. They had to let the miscarriage run its course. I just held her hand and we cried while her body rejected our baby. I tried telling her that there were other babies in our future. She couldn't even look at me. She thought she had failed me because it was her body that didn't nurture our baby like it should have."

"How do you get through something like that?"

"Day by day. Slowly it got better. We never could take down the ultrasound picture from our fridge. That's the only picture I'd ever get of our baby and it went up in flames with Jess. That it why I might have jumped the gun about bringing Jo in. I'd been in a bad situation before and I wouldn't wish it on anybody."

"Why didn't you tell me before? Or at least call Dad?" Dean was trying to understand what he heard.

"Dad had told me not to come back. That door was closed. You are more into one-nighters and I didn't think you'd understand the issues that come with a committed relationship."

"But I would have listened. I could have come to college to try to help the two of you. I might not have personal experience in that department, but I would have tried to understand. You're my brother. Don't you realize how important you are to me?" From Dean's voice Sam could tell he was hurt.

"I just couldn't think any further than the two of us," Sam explained. "Our very existence depended on each other. I tried to go to class, but Jess spent many days in bed, crying. I learned that there was nothing I could say to make it better. I just had to hold her until she started to heal. Our friends didn't even know about it, and we hadn't told them about the pregnancy in the first place. Jess wanted to keep it a secret until she was further along. She had me for support and didn't need to lean on friends regarding the baby. Afterwards, they seemed to know that something had happened, but they never asked what."

"Some friends," Dean commented. " A real friend would want to know what happened so that they could help."

"Like a brother would?"

"Damn right." Dean grew quiet. "You talked about taking care of Jess and getting her through it. How did you get through it?"

"I buried it deep in my mind. Jess's death was about two months later. I just shut out what I could. Jo's pregnancy brought it back to the surface. Now sometimes it feels like yesterday." Sam rolled onto his side.

"Sammy, you know what you need to do, right?"

"If I knew, Dean, I would have done it back then."

"You need to talk to Dad. Soon. Like as soon as we get back from this hunt."

"What could Dad do about it?" Sam asked.

"Who knows what he could do? He might be able to help make Jo's pregnancy easier on you. Just do it, dude. Even if it is just to let Dad back into your life. He's welcomed us into his."

"Okay, Dean. I'll try to bring it up to Dad after we get back. But, you have to get Jo out of the house or keep her company here while I talk to him. Jo doesn't need to hear it. She doesn't need to be upset."

"Agreed."


	7. Search for the YellowEyed Demon

A Chance to Love - 7 of 11

Search for the Yellow-Eyed Demon

"I want to shop for some baby items," Jo announced at breakfast one day to three guys who never knew or could not remember what counted as 'baby items.' "Who wants to come with me?" She looked at the blank faces around the table.

"I'll go," Dean answered a little too quickly. The others looked at him. "I've never been. I might be able to learn something."

"Sure, Dean. But I might want to drive to the next town. There isn't much available here."

"Impala is full of gas."

"I'll just go get my purse. Then, I'll wait for you to finish breakfast." Jo waddled out of the room.

Sam shot Dean a look. He wasn't ready to talk to John yet.

Dean's face said," Now's your chance, dude. You said you would." He turned to John and said," Sam needs to talk to you--in private." Then Dean slipped out from behind the table and said in a loud voice," I can't wait to go baby shopping. All those cute little outfits. I could look at them all day." He rolled his eyes in the direction of John and Sam, but had a big smile on his face when he turned to meet Jo in the living room.

John gave his wife a hug and reminded Dean to drive careful. He watched from the window as Dean opened the passenger door for Jo. He watched them drive away from the curb. Still facing the window, he asked Sam, "What do you need to talk about?"

Sam was quiet for some time.

John turned around to see Sam standing in the middle of the room. Sam showed so many emotions, his face was contorted into something John hadn't seen before. He knew this wasn't going to be something simple to talk about.

He walked toward Sam and said," Why don't we sit down?" Sam was still standing there so John put a hand on Sam's shoulder and guided him to the couch. Sam automatically went where John led him to.

"What's on your mind, Sammy?"

There was silence and John didn't prod any further. He knew Sam had heard him. He just waited until Sam could find the words.

"Jess and I had a baby---" he started shakily. "I mean, we were expecting a baby. She miscarried about two months before she was murdered. I'd been looking at rings before I found out about the baby. I loved her and the baby and I had both of them taken away from me." He looked at his Dad, searching for any words of wisdom or something to heal the pain.

John's face looked like he'd been punched in the gut. He was trying hard not to cry. "I don't know what to say, Sammy. I wish I could have been there for you back then. All I can do is be here for you now."

Sam had tears streaming from his red-rimmed eyes. He had a lost look to him. John put an arm around him and pulled him into a hug. "Sammy, just let it out. I can't imagine how much hurt you've been holding inside. It is okay to let it out now. I'm here."

They sat there with John making soothing noises, knowing that all he could so was try to comfort his hurting son. He had not done so in a long time. Dean and Sam always took care of each other, and helped each other heal from physical and mental wounds. John was out of practice and he was surprised at how fast it came back to him.

Sam's sobs wracked through his body. When they had stopped, Sam sat up and wiped his eyes on his t-shirt. It's then he realized that he'd left a huge wet spot on John's shirt. "Do you need to change your shirt?" Sam asked.

"No." John said. "I just need to help my son."

Sam gave him a feeble smile. "Jo's pregnancy brought it all back to the surface. I'd been doing pretty good before that. Sitting in that hospital room was hard to do."

"I never would have asked you to if I had known," John apologized.

"Can you imagine how Dean would have been back there with Jo?"

"I saw how he was when I came in. I doubt he was much of a help." John smiled, remembering how stir-crazy Dean was.

"We just ignored him," Sam said. "Jo needed me more than Dean did. Jo just tuned Dean out."

"She's good at tuning things out. She can tune me out in an instant."

Their conversation relaxed. Sam answered some of John's questions. John provided whatever fatherly advice he could.

"When we arrived the one day and I found Jo on the floor, and when she was too weak to walk, I had to get her to the hospital. And when I sat back there, holding her hand, I kept thinking 'not again'." Sam looked into his dad's eyes," Then, it was different. I saw your baby on the ultrasound and yearned for our ultrasound picture that burned up with Jess. I felt Jo's stomach and wondered what my baby would have felt like in Jess. Instead of hurting for what had happened, I started to wonder about how the pregnancy would have progressed, and all those little moments of joy that I was cheated out of. I'm mad and sad at the same time. I can blame the demon for Jess's murder. There is no one I can blame about the baby."

"Jess will always be a part of you. You will carry your happy memories of the two of you with you every day you are alive. I don't know when the pain will start to fade, or if it already has. One day, when the pain isn't so sharp and relentless, you will find yourself living again. Somehow you just find yourself doing that." John paused. "I concentrated on the demon when your Mom died because it was all I could do. I have never stopped looking for it. I never stopped loving Mary. The pain just relented enough so that when I saw Jo and felt love, I allowed myself to feel it. I hope that one day you will find love and allow yourself to feel it. We need to have something in our lives to balance out the bad."

"You saying I might find someone else, be happy and have the future I didn't get to have?"

"Maybe," John had a sparkle in his eye. "You never know who will come your way."

They were both feeling better after their talk. They wondered how Dean was doing with 'baby items'. It was a good bet that he had started to drive Jo nuts by now. How long they would be gone would depend on how much patience she had.

Jo got home and went to take a nap. Dean carried in a whole backseat of bags.

"You guys okay?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded. He couldn't help but ask," How was shopping?"

"Super. We've got every gadget they make for babies. We went into stores that were just seas of big bellies. I definitely did not fit in there. But when Jo said she wanted someone to go with her, she meant it. I wasn't able to wait in the car. I had a heck of a time in the stores because the big bellies also had big boobs. It was hard to tear my eyes away from them, they were hypnotizing. I tried looking at the floor, but there were only small patches of it between the bellies. So, mostly I stared at the back of Jo's head. I figured that was a safe spot."

"Sounds like a safe one to me," Sam laughed.

"I'd say you owe me, and I'd really mean it, but it was more important that you got to talk to Dad. Do you feel better?"

"It still eats at me but I have you and Dad to help me on the bad days."

"Good." Dean headed to the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Let's see what we can cook up."

John was up late one night with Dean and Sam. They had found the signs of the yellow-eyed demon. They found the electrical storms, temperature fluctuations and cattle deaths escalating in one area. It was a day's drive from home. John wanted to finally kill the yellow-eyed demon with the one bullet they had left. He didn't want to leave Jo alone with her due date about a month away. They decided that Dean would go help John and Sam would stay with Jo. Cole hadn't been bothering her but she was at a fragile time and couldn't be alone. John had to find a way to explain to Jo why he needed to go on this hunt. It wasn't a want--it was a need because he had been hunting it for so long and had given up so much for the hunt in the past.

Jo was surrounded with her pillows when John tried to quietly get into bed beside her. She stirred. "Baby's been up," she said. "Think the baby missed the feel of your hand on my belly. I know I did."

"I'm on my way there," he replied as he moved some of the pillows on the bed so he had room to lie down. He scooted closer to Jo and kissed her neck. "I love you, honey." He put one of his hands down on her belly that seemed to get bigger by the day. He gently started rubbing circles with his rough hands. He could feel the baby moving a around and then the movements slowed. He kept rubbing because it seemed to soothe Jo, too.

"That's much better," she said sleepily. "What were you and the boys up to?"

"I think we've found the yellow-eyed demon," John just spit it out. "It is about a day's drive away."

"Are you sure it's the yellow-eyed demon?" she suddenly seemed wide awake.

"We think so. It has all the signs I've noted before. Dean and I want to leave in the morning and we'll leave Sam here with you."

"Why leave Sam here? When it killed both his mom and his girlfriend?"

"Because I don't want you here alone and I don't want to send the boys alone to face this thing. What do you think?" he was scared of her response.

"You've always been hunting that demon," Jo's voice was calm. "I knew that before I got married to you. You sound pretty sure that the demon will be there?"

"Yes."

"Then, you need to go," her voice soothed his worry about her. "If Sam is okay with staying, he can stay. If he is like you and Dean, and he needs to see this thing finished, I can stay here alone. My mom isn't far away. Or, maybe I could go stay with her. Just come back home to me, and I'll be happy."

"Sam said he'd stay. He's fine with it. We plan on leaving here early in the morning. Should I wake you up before we go?"

"You'd better, John. Or else Sam might be hot on your tail with a pissed off pregnant lady," she laughed.

"Goodnight, honey," he continued to stroke her belly.

"Goodnight, my demon-hunting husband," she placed her hand on top of his and just glided along with his motion.

Jo was standing in the living room with a robe that had ceased covering her belly long ago. John and Dean went over the material they had with Sam before leaving. They left the computer with Sam so that could find any new information and break into county records to check births and who would be turning 6 months old in the next week. John and Dean checked their weapons. Dean went to load them in the trunk of the Impala.

John took Jo in his arms and made her promise to call him if there were any changes with her or the baby. She made him promise to call her as soon as it was al over and be careful. They kissed and he walked out the door.

Jo and Sam listened to the Impala drive away. "How good of a chance do you think they have of finally killing that thing?"

"The best chance Dad has ever had," Sam replied. "Like he was saying, all the signs are there."

"Good. I'm going back to bed for awhile." Jo started to waddle back down the hall.

"Just yell if you need anything," Sam offered. "I'll be out here looking up information for awhile. Let me know when you want me to make you some lunch."

Jo gave him a look and Sam turned red and made it worse for himself, "Dad made me promise to feed you."

"Feed me?"

"Well, make sure that you ate. I thought it would just be easier if I made the meals since I'm here."

"Thanks, Sam. I'll let you know." She continued down the hall at her slow pace.

Sam felt lucky that she didn't just up and slap him with the pregnancy hormones. He shook his head and he reminded himself not to make that mistake again. Then, the began typing away on the computer.

John and Dean rolled into town and stopped in the local café. That was the best place to get the local talk. Local police were stumped at who was carving up their cattle. They didn't have any leads. They had strange lightening storms a couple days back, they were so bright they were almost scary.

Sam called and was able to give them the information about the births and where each lived at. Luckily it was a sparsely populated county so there were only 10. John asked Sam how Jo was doing and Sam told him about his "feed you" mistake. John's rich laugh came over the line at his boy's mistake, knowing that he would never make that same mistake again.

Sam walked into Jo's room to see if she was awake. She wanted to talk to John.

"I miss you," she said. "And don't ever instruct your son to feed me ever again."

"Okay, honey," John tried to hide his laughter. "I promise to word it better next time. I miss you, too."

"Are you making any headway?"

"We're getting there. I'll call you as soon as it is over. I hope we'll have it done tonight or tomorrow night so I can head home to you."

"Hurry home but be careful," Jo's voice cracked because she missed him so.

"I will. Take care, baby," John heard the crack and tried to make his voice soothing. "This will all be over soon."

Sam took the phone back and they tied up some loose ends before hanging up.

Sam went back to check on Jo and she was sobbing. He didn't know what to say to make it better, so he just put an arm around her and told her how it would all turn out okay. Soon, she was cried out and Sam helped her get tucked back into bed. He looked back at her from the doorway. He wondered if his Dad knew how hard this was on her.

John and Dean were able to shorten their list by splitting the ten births up into the night they would turn 6 months old because there were 3 different days Sam had looked up. One birth was discarded because his mother died in childbirth. Two had been adopted out-of-state. That made it a manageable number.

Nothing happened to the babies who turned 6 months on the first night they were in town. That meant that three babies were safe.

Jo didn't handle the separation from John very well. Sam was typing away on the computer working one day ahead of how far he'd gone with researching births just in case he didn't cover enough time. He had the television on as background noise. He was so used to having Dean interrupting him or blaring the radio that he couldn't work in silence anymore. He wondered how they if they had found the demon. He wished he was there, but he knew Jo needed to be taken care of. He'd rather take care of someone than kill something. Sam just didn't have it in him like Dean did.. Sam turned off the television as he walked to the kitchen for another glass of water before bed. That's when he heard Jo. She wasn't sleeping, just crying.

He hesitated at his end of the hallway wondering how he should respond. Would it be better if he just pretended not to hear her:? Would she be embarrassed if he went in to check on her? Sam had a soft heart. He couldn't go into his room and shut the door to her cries.

"Jo?" he whispered from the doorway. "can I come in?"

"Only if you have a whole box of Kleenex," she tried to make a joke.

"I can go grab one," he offered.

"No," she reconsidered. "Just come in."

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "What has you up tonight?"

"John being gone at night."

"But," Sam wiped away some of her tears with the hem of his t-shirt," that is when we need to hunt. What they are hunting only comes at night."

"I don't care," her voice was a little better," I still miss John."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Get John here?" she asked him like he actually had that power.

"Anything else?" Sam had finished wiping away her tears.

"You'll laugh at me."

"Jo, I won't laugh with you," Sam was sincere.

"Would it be really weird if I asked you to sleep by me because sleeping alone is getting the best of me?"

"No, it would be fine," he answered even though he thought it would be very uncomfortable.

Jo moved some pillows and then invited him to sleep there. Sam laid down and asked her if that was any better.

"Could you please put an arm around me to rub my belly? That's what John does to calm us down."

"Okay," Sam was unsure of how to situate himself. Jo reached behind her to guide him closer to her. Then, Sam gently put his hand on her belly. He could feel knees and elbows moving inside. He moved his hand a little and he could feel Jo's body relax. The kicking was slowing down too.

"You'll make a very good Daddy one day," Jo didn't sound like she had been crying anymore. "You'll be a good one before you even get to meet the baby in person."

Jo didn't know that she touched such a painful topic. Sam's hand quit moving. "I was almost a daddy," he whispered. "I wanted to be one so bad. It just didn't happen."

"What?" Jo kept her voice soft.

"Jess and I had a baby that we lost," Sam continued in a whisper. "It happened about two months before she was murdered. She was just getting over it. I don't know that I have. The two events happened so close together, it was like I never had time to grieve for them. Before I knew it, there was two of them and the thought of them just hurt too much. So, I blocked it all away."

"Sam," Jo whispered back as she held his hand that had been on her belly," I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You don't have to do this for me."

"No," his voice was still hushed. "I just want to help make you comfortable. You have given me the opportunity to experience a pregnancy in a positive light. It was difficult the first time I felt your belly. I'm doing much better with it now."

"Does your Dad know?"

"He does now. I told him when Dean went shopping with you for 'baby items'. I'd broken down and told Dean the night before we went on that hunt. He was the one that insisted that I tell Dad. We just didn't want to have the conversation in front of you because we didn't want you to be upset." He was quiet for a moment. "I am sorry to have brought it up now. I shouldn't have upset you. It just came out."

"I'm okay, Sam. I'm concerned for you."

"I'm handling it." He started to rub her stomach again. "It is going to be easier now that I have everyone's support for the bad days. I am ashamed that I mentioned it to you, though. Dad will be mad about that."

"No he won't," Jo reassured him. "Because I won't tell him. When or if he shares that with me, I'll react just like I did now. You can tell me anything, Sam. Did you want to tell me anything else since I'm such a good listener?"

"Just that I'm so glad that you and my Dad got married. I don't remember him ever being this content. Dean remembers how he was with Mom, but I don't that memory. I've seen how happy you make him. I remember wondering if Dad ever felt happy." Sam noticed that the baby wasn't moving around anymore. "Is the baby asleep?"

"Or just resting," Jo replied.

"Now what should I do?"

"Could you please leave your hand there? If the baby is making a ruckus, could you just rub it so everything calms down again? If you don't want to, that's alright, too."

"I'll stay right here," He settled back in.

Jo fell asleep. Sam stayed awake, wondering how it was going for his Dad and Dean. When the baby started moving again, he rubbed Jo's belly. He thought about a little boy or girl in there, still developing. He was glad that he was able to help the baby go back to sleep. It also eased Jo's mind a little because she didn't feel alone.

In the morning, Sam's phone rang. It was John telling him that the demon didn't show the night before. John asked how Jo was doing. Sam told her how she'd been crying that night and he'd lain by her and rubbed her belly.

"Did she seem to calm down then?" John asked.

"Yes. She seemed to sleep pretty good from then on," Sam replied.

"Was it awkward for you?" John asked, partially concerned about if Sam and Jo's relationship would be weird now but mostly because of the baby that Sammy lost.

"No," Sam explained. "It was nice to be able to comfort her. I'm not the type of guy who could just leave her cry."

"I know you're not," John answered. 'That is why I wanted you to stay with her. I knew you'd take care of her. It wasn't because Dean was a better hunter. It was because you are a softie, like I used to be and I'm noticing that I'm starting to turn into one again. It's okay to be soft, Sammy. Don't try to fight it because it is who you are."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Is Jo awake to talk to?"

"Let me check," Sam went down the hall to the bedroom. Jo had heard the phone and was partially sitting up.

"Is that John?" she asked.

"Here is Jo, Dad. Get some good rest before going out again tonight," Sam closed his end of the call.

"John?" Sam heard Jo's voice as he turned to walk out the door. "I miss you. I'm doing fine, but I still miss you…" her words trailed off as Sam went back to the living room.

Jo didn't do much during the day. Sam insisted, begged really, to do the laundry or shopping for her. She insisted on doing it herself. She wanted Sam to get all the information he could to help with the hunt. She brought him a sandwich on her way out the door to the store. Sam wanted to drive her, but she promised not to purchase anything heavy, she'd have the bag boy put her groceries in the car, and then allow Sam to unload the car. Sam couldn't find fault with that. She'd covered all the bases.

Sam went back to work, typing away. He ate the sandwich absent-mindedly as he concentrated on the computer screen. He hadn't noticed how long Jo had been gone when he got a phone call from the manager. Cole had been at the store the same time as Jo. While Jo had tried to be friendly, Cole's temper flared. When Jo tried to just walk away, Cole kicked her and sent her falling. Jo had broken her fall with her hands but she'd still hit her head. Sam asked if she'd lost consciousness. The manager didn't think so. Sam told her he'd be right there.

It took him a minute to find the keys to his Dad's truck. He sped down the road to the grocery store that had seemed to safe just a short time before. The manager had phoned the police and they were holding Cole if Jo wanted to press charges. Sam told them that they were pressing charges. Then, he led a shaky, teary Jo out to the truck. When her legs started to fail her, Sam just scooped her up and continued to the truck.

When he set her down, he reached across to latch the seatbelt. Jo, head was hanging down to her chest. Sam gently lifted her chin and saw the fear in her eyes. She had a scrape on her forehead but it wasn't bleeding too badly. Then, Sam noticed the blood smear on his forearm. "Jo, " he spoke to her calmly," I'm going to bring you in just to check you out. You're safe. Just hang in there."

Sam sped even faster on the way to the hospital. The nurse was getting Jo's vitals in the waiting room when Sam flagged down another nurse and let her know about the blood on his arm and that there had been blood on the truck seat. This information sprang the nurse into action. Sam insisted on coming with because he was her only support with John being gone. The nurse Sam talked to, whispered something to the nurse taking Jo's vitals. Jo, who was in a wheelchair, was whisked back to the emergency room. Sam followed.

Jo didn't know about the blood until she got out of the wheelchair and saw a puddle. Then, she started to shake and cry. Sam waited on the other side of the pulled curtain while the nurses got Jo into a gown. Then, he went directly to Jo, and took her hand. With his other hand, he smoothed her hair away from the scrape. "They are bringing in the ultrasound. It's just to make sure that everything is okay. I'll stay right here."

The radiologist came in and Jo's stomach was much bigger than the last time Sam had seen it on ultrasound. It almost looked like a regular baby. The radiologist took the results to the doctor. While they waited, at least Jo and Sam were reassured by what they had seen on the ultrasound. The doctor came in and said they thought it was just some spotting, but they wanted to keep Jo until it stopped, just in case.

The nurses brought in some pillows to help make Jo more comfortable. Jo fell asleep. Sam stayed awake, worried about the baby. When the spotting stopped, Sam was allowed to bring Jo home. He needed to wake her up every four hours to make sure that he could wake her up. It was something Sam was used to. He and Dean did it for each other all the time.

Sam had cleaned the truck seat before Jo got back in. Sam asked her if she still needed anything from the store. She replied that she was tired and just wanted to go home.

Once home, Sam helped Jo get settled into bed. He laid by her for a little bit, rubbing her belly. When she fell asleep, he replaced where he had lain with pillows. He left her door open so he could hear her if she stirred. Then it was back to the computer.

He noted the births in the county for the next two days. Then he decided to call it a night. Dad and Dean would be going out soon. He hoped they really were on the trail of the yellow eyed demon and that it didn't live any longer than tonight.

He woke Jo up to check her alertness. She did okay. He asked her if she wanted him to sleep by her. She did. So he settled in for the night, a replay of the night before with a 3am wake up to check on Jo thrown in.


	8. Demon Hunt and the Aftermath

A Chance to Love - 8 of 11

Demon Hunt and the Aftermath

Dean and John had two possibilities for the evening and just the one gun. Luckily, the homes were less than a mile apart. John parked the Impala with the radio on by the first house. Dean stood outside the second house with a transistor radio. John had the gun in the Impala.

John called Dean because his radio was full of static. Dean's radio was still fine. He told his Dad he was on his way. Dean ran as fast as he ever had to the house his dad was in front of. He hoped that his Dad would wait for him before going in. Yet he knew that if the opportunity to kill the demon arrived before he did, his Dad would go rushing in.

John could see a new light upstairs and knew it had to be the demon. He couldn't wait for Dean. He kicked open the door. A house alarm went off. He raced up stairs and a sleepy man stood at the top of them. John pushed him out of the way.

"Get your wife out of here. Your home is on fire. I'll grab the baby." The man just looked stunned. "Get your wife out of here. Your home is on fire. I'll grab the baby," John only had time to repeat himself once. The sleepy man seemed to grasp the situation as John burst into the nursery.

The demon stood by the crib, seemingly concentrating on the baby. "Hello, Winchester," it said as it threw John across the room without even touching him. John managed to keep his grip on the Colt as he hit the wall, hard.

John tried to get up and was thrown into the corner, hurting all over. He still had the Colt.

The demon started a fire, turned to mock him and John got his shot. It went through the demon's forehead. As the demon started to shrivel, the fire spread.

Dean saw the couple running from the home, he pushed past them. He yelled for his Dad as he raced up the stairs and to the room that was on fire. He grabbed the baby from the crib and covered it with a blanket. He saw John in the corner. "Get the baby out!" John yelled.

Dean ran down the stairs and handed the baby over to relieved parents. "Have you called for help?"

"The alarm company immediately initiates those calls," the man seemed to have to think about it.

"My Dad needs an ambulance. Call one." Dean ran back inside.

The fire in the nursery was more intense. Dean started to cough when he reached his Dad. "Can you stand?"

"I'll try," John wheezed.

Dean got an arm around him and pulled him to his feet. It was painful to John but they were able to shuffle to the stairs. Then, Dean grabbed his Dad under his arms and drug him down the steps. John's feet thudded with each step. He cried out partway down. Dean didn't want to cause his Dad any pain, but he needed to get him out of there first. He continued to drag him out the front door onto the porch. "I need some help here!" Dean yelled.

Jo was okay at 3am. Then they could safely sleep until morning.

Sam awoke with someone shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Dean standing there. He didn't ask questions, he just got out of bed and followed.

"I'm not even going to ask you what you were doing in there," Dean started. "Dad got the demon. The demon is gone, Sam, gone for good. But, it hurt Dad pretty bad. He's in the hospital about 6 hours away. They flew him to a better hospital than the local one. I've called the hospital. He's in ICU with severe internal bleeding. I drove like hell to get here. Get Jo and get in the car."

Sam grabbed some clothes from the room he shared with Dean. Then he tried to break the news to Jo.

"We need to get in the car, Jo," Sam told her as she looked at him through sleepy eyes.

Dean came in, rummaged through the drawers, grabbed some items and Sam yelled," Grab some pillows!" before he left the room.

Jo wasn't really waking up, she was exhausted. So, Sam picked her up along with some bedding. Dean pulled the door closed behind them. He opened the back door of the Impala and Sam slid in there with Jo. He put a pillow under her head, which was settled on his lap. He placed the other pillows around her so she would feel secure during the drive. Dean helped Sam cover her up before he slammed the door and got in to drive. Fast.

Sam was used to Dean's driving but Jo wasn't. It was probably better that she slept through it. Sam rested a hand on her belly and rubbed.

"What are you doing?" Dean demanded with a glance in the review mirror.

"Just rubbing her belly like Dad does to soothe her and the baby," Sam answered. "Dad knows, so don't worry about it. What happened?'

Dean filled him in on how they figured out which house the demon would be at, that he had raced there but Dad had gone in already, that Dad had killed the demon, Dean had saved the baby, and then he dragged Dad from the house which was on fire.

Then it was Sam's turn to fill Dean in. He told him about the incident in the grocery store and their trip to the hospital. Dean hadn't trusted Cole, but he'd figured Cole to be a little smarter than that.

"How much does she know about Dad?" Dean asked.

Sam had to think about what he'd said. "Nothing," he answered. "I just told her we needed to get in the car."

"Probably best that way," Dean's concentration was only on the road as he sped even faster toward the hospital.

Dean snapped his phoned shut. "Sam," he looked in the review mirror to make sure he had Sam's attention so he didn't have to talk too loud. Jo was still asleep and Dean was glad for that. He saw Sam was listening so he went on," Dad is about the same." Sam nodded. "But there's a problem," Dean continued," Dad used his real name at some point between the last time I called and now. He corrected the nurse and told her his real name. I don't know what we are going to run into when we get there. You get Jo in so see Dad. If the cops are there, I'll deal with them. You just make sure Jo gets time with Dad."

Sam just nodded. He looked at the peaceful face sleeping in his lap. "How far away are we, Dean?"

"An hour maybe, why?"

"I think we should have a rest stop and fill Jo in. We can't just drop it on her when she sees him," Sam wanted his Dad to his the Jo he loved, not one who was a mess.

"If you say so," Dean pulled over the next chance he got.

Jo started to wake when the car stopped. She blinked herself awake and wondered where she was. "We just stopped for a break," Sam's voice was calming.

"Where are we going?"

"Let's get you out so you can move around a little," Sam was moving pillows and getting her to sit up.

"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty," Dean acted like his usual self as he opened the back door. "I think you have some clothes here in the front seat if you want to change."

"Okay," she took the clothes from Dean. All three of them walked up to the gas station.

They got the keys for the restrooms. Once Jo went in, Sam told Dean," Just stand outside the door and make sure she's fine until I get out."

"Do you ever feel like a stalker doing this?" Dean cocked an eyebrow.

"Not after yesterday," was his response.

After Sam was out, Dean went about filling up the Impala and grabbing some provisions. Jo came out looking a little uncomfortable. "I wish I had a brush for my hair," she was trying to run her fingers through her hair and it wasn't working. Luckily, the convenience store had one. As for the toothbrush, Dean had a shaving kit in the trunk with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

When they got back into the car, Sam and Jo sat in back, and Jo wondered why because she wasn't asleep anymore. Dean turned in the front seat to face her.

Jo said, "I've been a good girl and listened to you ignore my questions. I got ready for my day. Now, tell me where John is. You would never leave him alone to hunt the demon."

Sam nodded to Dean so he could tell her firsthand what had happened. Dean told her the whole story. Then he said," I know you have questions but I need to get us back on the road." He turned the Impala back on the road with a steely look on his face as heard Jo's heart break in the backseat. He had to tune that out so he could get them to the hospital.

'How bad is John?" Jo looked up at Sam with teary eyes.

"Bad. Really bad. He even told them his real name at the hospital," he tried to explain. "He's in ICU and has internal bleeding that they can't find a way to stop. This could be it, Jo. Just so you know before we get there. Dean said Dad looks bad. Just try to prepare yourself. So he can't see the shock on your face."

"But, we're going to have a baby," Jo tried to grasp what had been said.

"I know," Sam tried to comfort her in his own sorrow. "Just be how Dad remembers you. We need to try to make this easy on him. He hasn't forgotten your baby. "

Jo cried so hard. Sam did whatever he could to try to make her feel better.

"Still think this was a good idea?" Dean asked.

"I'm calling Pastor Jim," was Sam's response. "Dad would want him there."

Pastor Jim was already on the road to the hospital. He had found someone to fly him to a nearby town. He was able to get a cab. He hadn't arrived at the hospital yet, but he had another stop to make first.

John had called him and gave him some instructions. He needed to pick up a Marriage License, find a Notary at the hospital, and legally marry John and Jo.

Jo liked that Pastor Jim was on his way. "Should Bobby come, too?"

"I can call him," Sam replied but doubted that Bobby would be able to make it in time. Why hadn't they thought about calling him sooner?

All Sam needed to tell Bobby was the name of the hospital, the town, and that Dad was in bad shape. He said he'd be there.

Dean squealed to a stop in the parking lot. He stepped up to Jo and gave her a hug. "We're always here," he offered her his arm. She hung onto Sam's arm, too.

The three of them walked up to ICU. The nurse didn't want to allow three people in at one time, but she said she'd allow two. Dean stayed to argue. Sam whispered to Jo, "Remember that it is your husband in there. No matter what he looks like, he's your husband and he is planning to see his wife."

Jo tried to smile and Sam wiped away a couple tears. They walked in and Jo couldn't help but gasp a little. If not for Sam's arm helping her stay steady, she might have fallen because her legs felt so weak.

Sam pulled up a chair for Jo. "Hi, Dad," he grasped John's hand.

"Sammy," his voice was slow.

"Pastor Jim is on his way to legally marry you two," Sam assured him. "Dean is arguing with the nurses already. We're here for you, Dad."

"I know."

"I love you, John," Jo's breaking voice caused John to look concerned.

"Oh, honey," John wanted to reach out to hold her.

Jo stood up and told Sam she wanted to lie down by him. Sam helped her in with the mess of bed railings and tubing. Then, he told her he'd be waiting outside. Through the glass door, Sam saw Jo curled up by his Dad's side. His Dad's free hand rested on her belly while Jo rested her head on his shoulder.

Sam stood outside the glass doors and looked in. It was such a peaceful sight for an ICU. Dean stepped up beside him. 'Where were you?" Sam asked.

"Gift shop. Had to get a camera. We're having a wedding when Pastor Jim gets here," Dean said and Sam just nodded and smiled.

"What are you two doing here?" the nurse Dean had argued with before demanded.

"Oh, buzz off," Dean waved the camera and said," we're having a wedding."

"I'd better go check with the doctor. No one told me about anything like that."

"You just go do that!" Dean raised his voice after her as she walked off. Sam shot him look to be quiet in the hospital. "Well, " Dean's voice was quieter," I was right. We're having a wedding."

They both stood there, leaned up against the nurses' station, looking at John and Jo.


	9. Another Wedding and a Baptism

A Chance to Love - 9 of 11

Another Wedding and a Baptism

Pastor Jim arrived with a marriage license and a Notary in tow. "Is there still time?" he didn't know if he was too late.

"Let's go have ourselves a hitchin'," Dean put an arm around Pastor Jim and shot the meddling nurse an evil eye as the four of them walked into John's room.

Sam closed the door behind them. John was awake. "Thanks for coming, Pastor Jim," John spoke. "I wasn't sure you could make it."

"You can depend on me," Pastor Jim stepped closer to the bed. He rolled the table closer to the bed and put the marriage license on it. "First we have the legal aspect to attend to. If you and Jo can sign this, then we can allow the Notary to go back to her job."

Jo woke up and signed on the license, as did John. The Notary signed, dated and stamped the license. Then, she congratulated John and Jo.

"Now for the wedding," Pastor Jim announced. "Neither of you have to move, for this is a simple ceremony."

John and Jo relaxed back into bed. "First, John, please repeat after me--Jo, I'll love you forever."

John's energy was waning but he looked into Jo's eyes and pledged," Jo, I'll love you forever."

"Jo, I need you to repeat after me--John, I'll love you forever."

Jo whispered through her tears," John, I'll love you forever."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Dean snapped a picture of the two of them kissing. Then Pastor Jim took a picture of them with Sam and Dean. Dean wanted to get one with John, Jo and Pastor Jim. He was trying to schoo Sam away when Jo grabbed Sam's hand. Her face was no longer smiling. Sam bent down and she whispered into his ear," Something is wrong. I need some help."

Sam nodded and said," How about one of just Dad and Pastor Jim?" Sam uncovered Jo and there was blood on the bedding.. "It's going to be okay," he whispered into her ear as he lifter her up. "Can you cover Dad back up, Dean?" Sam nodded to the bed. Dean caught a glimpse of the blood but didn't let on to John that it was there. Sam was already out of the room with Jo in his arms. Dean saw him at the nurses' station and pulled the curtain so his Dad wouldn't see. Dean took a picture of Pastor Jim and his Dad like he'd planned.

"We need some help here," Sam tried to keep his voice from sounding panicked. A nurse's aide came around, saw the blood, and grabbed a gurney. Sam laid Jo down and she clung to his hand as she was raced down the hallway. "I'm not going to let go," he promised. Jo's face showed pure fear, a fear that no one could take away.

Pastor Jim asked for some time alone with John. Dean told them he would go find Sam and Jo.

Dean opened the curtain as he stepped out to the nurses' station. The nurse he'd been battling was standing there. "Where did they take Jo? Is it Maternity or Emergency?"

The nurse made some phone calls and sent Dean to Maternity. Without directions, Dean ran down the hall following the signs to the elevator. The board in the elevator told him where to go. He didn't reach the Maternity Ward before he saw Sam running down the hall by a gurney towards him.

"What's going on?"

"They are going to do an emergency C-section," Sam kept clinging to Jo's hand. "I am staying with Jo. Can you go tell Dad?"

"You'll do fine, Jo," Dean brushed her hair back. "Remember, you're a Winchester now." One concerned look toward Sam and Dean was on his way.

They got into the Operating Room area and some medical person tried to make Sam let go of Jo. "I'm going with." he firmly stated.

"Are you the father?"

"The father is in ICU. I'm her support person," Sam shot him a look that he was not in the mood to be messed with.

"You'll need to scrub up and put on surgical attire."

"Whatever I need to do," Sam agreed. He leaned toward Jo," I will be right in. I need to scrub up and then I'll be in there with you. I'm not going anywhere." He watched the automatic doors close behind her and went to scrub up.

Dean came back to John's room while he and Pastor Jim were in the middle of a prayer. He quietly waited until they were done, standing against the wall with a bowed head.

When Pastor Jim was done, Dean came to John's bed. "Dad?" He could see that his Dad was fading. John opened his eyes and looked at Dean. "Jo is having an emergency C-section right now. Don't worry, Sam is with her. They will let us know as soon as they have any news." Then he turned to Pastor Jim, "Feel like performing a baptism today?"

Pastor Jim just nodded.

Sam got in the operating room as they were preparing for the surgery. They had a chair for him at Jo's head. "I'm right here," he said. Jo just held eye contact with him. She concentrated on his eyes because it was all she could see of him and it was the only familiar sight in the room.

The doctor announced that he was making the incision. He announced when he was cutting into the walls of the womb. They heard a small cry before the doctor said," You have a son, Mrs. Winchester."

"John, his name is John," Jo said between tears of both joy and sorrow. She told Sam, "You need to get him to John. He needs to see his son." Sam asked the neonatal team if Baby John was healthy. They said he was. Sam wanted to take him up to ICU to see his Dad. The team said they still needed to do some things to Baby John like they do to all newborns.

Sam asked if they could do it in his Dad's ICU room. He told them how serious it was. They agreed to have a few members of the team come up with him.

Then, Sam asked the doctor how long it would be before Jo could go visit her husband in ICU. The doctor didn't give him a direct answer. "Look," Sam finally laid it on the line," the neonatal team is coming up to her husband's room because his time is limited. Either you can let me take a gurney with her on it to ICU or I will carry her up there myself."

The doctor said they seemed to have the bleeding stopped. He still needed to get her stitched up and she would be in tremendous pain unless they doped her up. Sam asked him to skip the pain medication, have it sent up to John's room to give her when her epidural started to wear off.

"This isn't how we do things in this hospital." the doctor was angry.

"I'd rather do it another way, too," Sam replied. "But Mr. Winchester would like to see that his son and wife are doing well before he goes to heaven."

The doctor said he'd arrange for her to be brought up. Sam decided to stay with Jo. He scribbled 'His name is John' on a sheet of paper and sent the neonatal team up to ICU with the baby.

Sam stayed with Jo until she could be moved. Once on gurney, a maternity nurse came with them to ICU.

Dean was the first to see the incubator in the hall. He opened the glass doors and yelled," John Winchester is in here!"

The team rolled the baby into the room and parked the incubator by John's bed. "He's healthy as far as we can tell. We were asked to do our usual baby cares up here." The head lady doctor told Dean. "Here is a note."

Dean opened it and then laid his hand on his Dad's shoulder. "Dad, you need to wake up to see your new son. Jo has named him John."

John's eyes opened and Dean asked the lady doctor if John could hold the baby. She understood the situation and nodded. She took Baby John out and laid him on John's chest. John looked into the little baby face and started to cry," He's perfect." Dean took a couple pictures. While John was concentrating on the baby, Dean asked the doctor about Jo.

"I think she's okay," the doctor replied. "The man with her was persuading the doctor to let her come up here as soon as she was done getting stitched up. He's kind of demanding."

"That's my Sammy," Dean grinned.

Sam was still dressed in surgical attire when he came into the room with Jo. They wheeled Jo's gurney to John's bedside. Sam tried to be gentle as he transferred her from the gurney to John's bed.

"I love you," John said when she was laid beside him.

"We have a wonderful son named John," Jo whispered. "I love you, too."

Dean snapped a picture of the three of them. Pastor Jim took the camera and took a picture of the five of them. They were the Winchesters.

Pastor Jim asked what Baby john's middle name was. Neither John nor Jo knew. "That's alright. I can baptize him without a middle name." He took out a little bottle of holy water. The lady doctor from the neonatal team took the camera. She took a couple pictures of the very short baptism.

"Who are the godparents?" Pastor Jim asked.

"Sam and Dean are his Godfathers," Jo was quick to reply.

John had his eyes closed. One of the monitors went off. A nurse came in and pushed the silence button. "In a few moments, the other alarms would sound but I will shut the sound off. You can stay as long as you like."

Sam touched his Dad and told him that he loved him. Dean did the same.

Jo plead with John not to leave her--not to leave Baby John. "I never had enough time with you. There are so many things I forgot to say." She heard his final breath leave his body. "Goodbye, my love. Rest in peace." Then all she could so was cry.

The doctor took Baby John and did the eye drops and measurements. The maternity nurse pushed some pain medication into Jo's IV. Jo laid by John until his body started to turn cold.

"It's time to go make sure you are okay," Sam gently told her. "Dad is gone now."

"Don't we need to call someone?" Jo asked, confused.

"Pastor Jim will take care of all that needs to be done," Sam assured her.

She kissed John one last time, told him she loved him, and told him goodbye.

Sam and the maternity nurse transferred Jo back to the gurney. "I'll be to see you after they get you settled in," Sam squeezed her hand. "I need to stay with Dad for a little bit."

She nodded teary-eyed. She was crying before the maternity nurse got her out of the room.

The neonatal team was in the corner with Baby John. Dean was holding John's hand. Sam took John's other hand.

"Thanks for being my Dad," Dean kissed his forehead like John used to do when the boys were little. The tears started to come and he walked to Pastor Jim.

"I'll watch over Jo and Baby John," Sam's voice caught in his throat. "I hope to one day be the Dad you were."

He laid John's hand back down on the sheet and kissed his forehead.

Sam walked over to Dean and Pastor Jim. "I'll make the necessary phone calls," Pastor Jim offered. "Do you want your Dad to be buried by your Mom in Lawrence or in Nebraska?"

"I think Nebraska would be best." Sam replied," I think it would be easier on Jo."

"But what about Mom?" Dean asked.

"Dad isn't even the one who put the headstone there. Mom isn't there because there wasn't a body. Maybe we could bury Dad's wedding ring by Mom's headstone."

"That was his wedding ring to Jo, too," Dean found a glitch in Sam's plan.

"Could Mom's headstone be moved up here?" Sam asked Pastor Jim.

"I don't know. But, you could put one here for your Mom and lay your Dad to rest beside her. " Pastor Jim was thinking on his feet. "You would want to get a family plot so that Jo could be buried on the other side of your Dad."

"Okay. Nebraska it is," Dean decided.

"That's all you need to decide for right now," Pastor Jim told them. "I will arrange for the funeral home. I will stay here with him until the attendants arrive. Do you boys have a place to stay?"

"We'll need to find a hotel until Jo can go home," Sam answered. "I had better go check on Jo. Dean, do you want to find the hotel or come and check on Jo and Baby John?"

"I think I'd like to go play with a baby right now," Dean said. "I could use a pick me up. Even spit up would be good right now."

"Thank you, Pastor Jim," Sam hugged the man who used to take care of them and was always there for them and their Dad. "We will call you later to let you know what is going on. Do you have a place to stay?"

"I'll just find a hotel. I'll stay in town as long as you do, and then I will need to catch a ride home with you, if that is okay."

"You are always welcome in our home," Dean stated.

Pastor Jim took the chair next to John's bed and started to speak to his long-time friend, even though it was just his body.

Sam and Dean headed to the Maternity Ward. Jo was settled into a private room. She was out cold from the painkillers. They asked at the nurses' station about Baby John. Then, they waited in Jo's room for the nursery to bring Baby John in.

Sam picked him up first, he was swaddled in a blanket and asleep. He seemed so tiny. Sam gently transferred the sleeping babe to Dean. Dean smiled when he looked into the angelic face. It wasn't easy to find something to smile about after the day they'd had.


	10. Life Without John

A Chance to Love - 10 of 11

Life Without John

Dean and Sam found a nearby hotel. Dean stayed there and called Bobby and Ellen to tell them about all that had happened. Sam went back to the hospital. He went to ICU and John's room was empty. Sam was so thankful for Pastor Jim right them.

Next stop was Jo's room. She was more awake this time. She was holding the baby and crying. Sam stood beside her bed and put his arm around the two of them.

"You became a mother today, Jo," Sam tried to be supportive. "That's pretty amazing."

"I also became Mrs. Winchester and a widow," she replied.

Sam understood how complicated and hard the day had been on her. "Have you thought about a middle name for Baby John?"

"William, after my Dad," Jo answered. "And we don't need to call him Baby John. Let's call him Johnny."

"Johnny is a great name for him," Sam agreed. He watched Jo and the baby for awhile. Then he asked, "Dean and I have a room close to the hospital. Should I stay there or do you need me here?"

"Could you please stay?"

"Sure." Sam replied. "I'll just call Dean and tell him."

"How is Dean doing?"

"Hard to tell how Dean is doing." Sam tried to think of how to word it. "He doesn't say much." Sam looked around and saw that there was a chair that reclined for him to sleep in. "Do you think they could bring in another sleeping chair? Then, Dean could be here, too. Whether he's talking about it or not, he doesn't need to be alone right now."

Housekeeping brought in another chair and Sam went to get Dean.

"Why are you back so soon?" Dean asked.

"Because it was wrong for me to leave you here," Sam started out. "None of us should be alone tonight. We're staying in Jo's room. They have two sleeping chairs, which are more comfortable than the Impala. Come on. Jo knows we are on our way."

Dean didn't argue but he didn't seem too excited to go, either. "I hate hospitals," he mumbled on his way out the door.

Back in Jo's room, the baby was asleep in the bassinette beside Jo. Sam took the sleeping chair closest to Jo. Dean took the other.

"I need to know where John is," Jo's voice was quiet. "Did Pastor Jim make any suggestions or arrangements?"

"We let Pastor Jim arrange to have Dad brought home," Sam started to explain. "We want to have him buried in Nebraska We also want to put a headstone for our Mom beside him. The other side will be for you after you have lived a long and full life. Is it okay with you to put a headstone for Mom by Dad?"

"That's fine. I am relieved that you thought far enough ahead to include me, because I really love him," Jo's tears started again.

"We know you do," Dean's voice crackled. "We might have thought it odd when you two got together, but just seeing you together showed us how much you loved each other. We wanted to have our Mom nearby while still respecting your love for Dad. There was nothing of Mom to bury. There's a headstone in Lawrence, but we've only been there a couple times. Our new home is still where you live, right?"

"That home is where all Winchesters belong," Jo needed them as much as they needed her.

A few days later, Dean and Pastor Jim were in the front seat of the Impala and Jo and Sam had Johnny between them in the backseat. Dean drove the speed limit or under. He was carrying very precious cargo.

Although it felt good to be home, they were overwhelmed by John when they walked in the door. Little items of his that were strewn all though the house.

Pastor Jim and Dean put the crib together while Sam and Jo tried to get Johnny settled in. Jo made a list for the grocery store and Pastor Jim and Dean went to get them. On their way, they stopped off at the Roadhouse to tell Ellen that they were back.

Dean saw Cole there. Sam had told him about Cole and Jo in the supermarket. Too much was boiling up inside Dean. He went up to Cole and just blew up. "What were you thinking, kicking Jo?" he shoved Cole's shoulders.

"I don't know--"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You don't kick anyone, Cole. Especially ladies who are expecting." Dean shoved him again.

"Wait a minute here, she--" Cole tried to get a word in.

"Are you that low on the totem pole that you had to resort to sending Jo to the hospital?" Dean shoved him twice.

Cole clearly didn't want to fight Dean. He was a little scared of Dean, actually.

Dean pounded him twice in quick succession. Cole was on the ground and staying there. "Leave my family alone," Dean growled. "I'm the one you'll have to deal with."

Dean turned and he and Pastor Jim continued to the grocery store. Jo's car was still in the parking lot. They got what they needed and then Pastor Jim drove Jo's car home, following Dean.

Ellen was at the house when they got there. She'd left someone else in charge so she could check on everyone. While Johnny slept in his car seat in the living room, Ellen had helped Jo with her incision, pain pills, and tucked her into bed. Sam was in the living room trying to figure out the bassinette instructions. Pastor Jim and Dean walked by with the groceries into the kitchen.

When they were putting the items away, Pastor Jim asked Dean why he struck that man at the Roadhouse. Dean told him about Jo's trip to the grocery store and that besides just harassing her, Cole kicked Jo. She fell down, got a concussion, scrape on her head and started spotting with the baby. Sam had taken her to the hospital. They arrived back home and it was the night that John killed the demon. It had all happened so fast.

Pastor Jim couldn't scold him for striking Cole. Dean thought he'd better warn Pastor Jim, so he told him about Sam and Jo's sleeping arrangement when John was gone. Pastor Jim gave him an odd look. Dean told him that John had asked Sam to take care of Jo, known that Sam was sleeping by her, and was thankful that Sam was there to help Jo when John couldn't.

Once back in the living room, Pastor Jim and Dean pitched in on assembling the bassinette. It went more smoothly that way. While they were working, Pastor Jim told them that he had their Dad's wedding ring. He didn't know exactly who to give it to. Sam and Dean agreed that Jo should have it.

Ellen came out of the bedroom and asked if there were any more Kleenex. Sam went to show her. When it was just the two of them, Ellen said," Jo told me you slept with her when John was gone."

"Not like you think," Sam's face turned all shades of red. "I slept by her and rubbed her belly when Johnny was too active. I guess that is one thing my Dad did to help her sleep at night. Dad knew about it and was glad I was able to help make Jo more comfortable."

"She's in mourning," Ellen stated. "Whatever feelings you have or don't have for Jo, remember how sad she is. She's been depending on you and it sounds like she might continue to do so. If your friendship grows into something, I can handle that. Just don't hurt her when she's already so sad."

"I'd never purposely hurt Jo," Sam was insulted that Ellen would even think something like that. "I'm grieving, too. So is Dean. The only person in this house not grieving is Johnny, and that's just because he's a baby. No one is hurting or taking advantage of anyone here. We're helping each other get by."

"Just making sure," Ellen responded. "Do you plan on telling Pastor Jim about your sleeping arrangement?"

"I'll sleep wherever Jo wants me to," Sam replied. "I doubt Pastor Jim will say a word."

"Good. Bring her these Kleenex. She asked to see you." Ellen handed him the box.

"Jo?" the dim bedside lamp was on and Sam couldn't tell if she had fallen asleep.

"Sammy? Come sit by me."

"How are you doing?" Sam asked even though her red-rimmed eyes told him all he needed to know. He put the new box of Kleenex on the bedside table.

"I'm alone, Sammy. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared."

"You're not alone. You'll always have Dean and me."

"When you're not hunting," Jo cried. "What happens when you go on your next hunt?"

"We're not going anywhere until you are ready for us to leave."

"What if that day doesn't come?"

"We'll talk about it later, Jo. Don't worry about it right now."

"Will you still sleep by me, Sam?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes," Jo looked at his face trying to see if he was going to refuse her request.

"I'll let Pastor Murphy have my bunk," Sam decided. "Do you want the crib or the bassinette in here?"

"The bassinette beside my bed," Jo answered. "That way I can make sure to Johnny up when he cries."

"I'll bring the bassinette in later, we're still finishing it. I'll give Johnny a bottle before I bring him in to sleep. For now, get some rest, Jo. Do you have your pills nearby?"

"In the nightstand drawer."

"I'll bring in a glass of water later, too."

"Thank you, Sam."

Sam went into the living room and wondered how Pastor Jim was going to react to the sleeping arrangements.

Pastor Jim visited Jo in her room. "I have something for you," he sat on the edge of her bed. "I think this might help you in the difficult days ahead." He pulled John's wedding ring out of his pocket.

"I wondered where it had gone," Jo's eyes glistened as she slipped it on her middle finger. "Thank you for all you've done for us."

"It was nothing," Pastor Jim squeezed her hand. "I know about Sam comforting you at night, Jo. Although it is irregular, it isn't exactly wrong. Just make sure that it doesn't turn into something more by mistake or that one of you thinks it is more when it isn't. That's when feelings get hurt. Just keep communication open."

"Yes," Jo smiled.

Pastor Jim smiled back. He knew she understood and that she would be okay.

Sam had learned how to feed Johnny in the hospital. It seemed strange to be feeding him at home. Dean and Pastor Jim were in the living room with him. They all stayed up until Pastor Jim had rocked Johnny to sleep. Pastor Jim had insisted on rocking Johnny because he didn't get many changes to rock a baby.

"Goodnight," Sam took the warm bundle from Pastor Jim. "I'm sure Johnny won't be asleep as long as we'd like him to, so don't let Dean keep you up too late."

"I'm ready to hit the sack," Dean said. "I'll show Pastor Jim where everything is, give him the grand tour. If you need help during the night, wake me up. I put the crib in our room."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam said quietly.

"Just a minute," Dean took a few steps over and kissed Johnny on the forehead. " Goodnight, Johnny. Remember, angels are watching over you." He stepped back and cleared his throat. "What are you lookin' at? I couldn't just to let him go to bed without telling him Mom's goodnight. He needs to learn important things like that." Dean smiled up at Sam.

Sam smiled at Dean, happy to see the softer side of Dean. Sam also wanted to make sure that his Mom's goodnight message was passed on. That way, it made his mom feel closer.

Sam laid Johnny in the bassinette near Jo. He covered him with a blanket, rubbed his fuzz-covered head, kissed him and told him exactly what Dean had said. Although Sam would never remember how his Mom used to tuck him in, he found comfort in the fact that Dean did.

He walked silently to the other side of the bed and laid down. When Jo started to wake up, Sam whispered, "It is just me. Johnny was just fed and he's asleep. Do you need anything?"

"Just be close to me," Jo replied," I've depended on you so much--"

"Now we can depend on each other," Sam put an arm around her very loosely. "There is nothing wrong with depending on each other."

" I miss John."

"I miss him, too, Jo. " Sam was silent for a few moments," Tomorrow Bobby is coming, so we will lay Dad to rest the next day. "

"How is Bobby doing?"

"I don't know. I didn't talk to him very long. He'll be staying here tomorrow night, we can see how he is doing then."

"What will he think of you and I sleeping in the same bed?"

"It doesn't really matter what he thinks," Sam said logically. "Do you want me here?"

"Yes," Jo whispered.

They laid in perfect silence. "Do you want to be here?" Jo asked in a wavering voice, and Sam knew she was crying.

"Come here, Jo," Sam reached an arm out and Jo curled up and laid her head on his shoulder. Placed a hand on his chest and let out a sigh. Sam brushed a hand through her hair," It is going to be okay. These days are terribly hard, but they won't always be this way." Sam laid awake longer than Jo. He was staring at the ceiling, wondering if the days would get better. He didn't want to lie to Jo. He hoped he hadn't.

"Sam!" Jo's yell brought him from a sound sleep to the hall, looking for her. Dean was up just as quick and standing in his bedroom doorway.

"Sam!" Jo yelled again from the restroom. Sam waved to Dean and Dean went back to bed.

Sam tried the door and it was unlocked. He opened it a crack and said," What do you need, Jo?"

"Come in here," her voice was strained. Sam stepped in and closed the door.

Jo was standing there, looking panicked. The whole top of her nightgown was soaked. There was something else on her nightgown, too, Sam didn't know what it was.

"I got out of bed too quick. I was sleepy and forgot to move carefully." Jo showed the pain in her face. "Then I got in here and saw what a mess I was."

"We can get you cleaned up," Sam looked at her with his soft eyes. "It is just part of having Johnny. Remember when the nurse told you how messy your milk can be, even when you're not giving it to Johnny?"

"What?" Jo was confused.

"I was in the room with Johnny when she came in," Sam told her. "I know it's shocking to wake up to, but one of Jess's friends who had a baby in college had the same problem. She put a newborn diaper in each side of her bra to avoid sleeping in a puddle again. It's something that just happens, Jo. I'll go grab you a clean nightgown." He stepped toward the door.

"My incision broke open," Jo was still scared. That explained the other stain Sam had seen.

"Do you need to go in?" Sam wasn't sure what to ask or how to access the problem.

"I don't know."

"Can I take a look?" Sam moved slowly toward her and lifted the hem of her nightgown. Jo's face was red. "I'm just looking at your incision, Jo. It's just me."

"I don't know if that helps or makes it worse. I need to know what you think, though." Jo moved her high waistband down so he could see the incision between her hipbones.

"I can't tell if it is infected," Sam studied the series of staples. "It is seeping, though, was it supposed to do that?"

"I don't know."

"I'll get you a clean nightgown and then we'll see what we have for bandages. There's no problem, Jo. I'll be right back."

Dean walked into the bedroom while Sam was rummaging through the dresser. He watched as Sam grabbed a nightgown, bra and diapers. "How's Jo?"

"Embarrassed because of typical after-baby issues. I might need your opinion on her incision, though. Do we still have a good first aid kit in the Impala?" Dean nodded. "Go grab it and put it in your room. I'll get it and you if it looks too bad."

"Sure," Dean headed out.

Sam knocked on the bathroom door. "Here you go," he said. "You'll feel better after you are in clean clothes."

Jo slowly stepped from the bathroom a few minutes later. "I should have been able to handle it myself. I can't believe I didn't listen to the nurses. I just didn't hear them."

"That's because of the pain pills and all the stress you've been under. If it wouldn't have been for Jess's friend getting horrified one night and telling Jess about it, I wouldn't have known."

"Jess told you things like that and you remember them?"

"I always listened to her because I loved her. The topics weren't always at the top of my list, but I think I remember quite a few of them." Sam said as they made their way to the bedroom.

"And you couldn't warn me about this beforehand?"

"I didn't know if it was common knowledge. If I would have known it would have helped you, I would have told you." Sam stepped aside to follow her in the room. "As of right now you have all of my pregnancy and post-pregnancy knowledge."

Jo nodded. She took two pain pills and then carefully laid down.

"Let me see the incision again," Sam turned the bedside lamp on. He pulled up the sheets and then lifted her nightgown up. "It is alright if Dean helps me bandage this?" She shot a look at him. "We patch each other up but most of our cuts aren't this deep."

She nodded her consent.

Sam went in to get Dean and the first aid kit. "I can't tell if it is infected. She's already uncomfortable with me seeing it, so be professional about it."

"What would make me any different from you?" Dean wanted to know.

"You wanted to date her." Sam said as he picked up the kit.

"Hey, Jo," Dean said quietly. "Can I take a look?"

She nodded her head, and then turned it to the side and stared at the wall.

Dean lifted her gown and saw the staples. "What happened to plain stitches?" he seemed surprised to see them there. He touched the sides of the incision and Jo flinched. "Sorry," he looked closer at it. "It feels warm," Dean said. "That implies infection. The red color could be from healing or infection. Sam, I think we should bandage Jo up and then bring her in when she wants to go."

"How does that sound to you, Jo?" Sam touched her hair and she turned to look at him. "We bandage you up and bring you in when you want to go."

"I'm so sleepy," Jo's pain killer had kicked in.

"That's fine. You get some sleep," Sam looked at Dean and motioned for the first aid kit. "This is going to hurt a little, but I'll be as quick and gentle as I can."

Dean took out the peroxide and handed it to Sam. Sam took a washcloth and started to disinfect her incision. Jo kept moving because of the pain. So, Sam handed the washcloth to Dean before he knelt by the bed, told Jo it would be over soon, and kept brushing her hair back from her face until Dean was done. After it was all sterile and bandaged, Sam moved her gown back down, drew the covers up and said, "All done, Jo. Just sleep."

As they were putting the first aid kit back together, Johnny started to squirm. Sam scooped him up before he could wake Jo up. "Think Johnny can sleep in the crib after I give him a bottle? Would you wake up if he cried?" Sam asked.

"Of course I'd wake up. I watched over you when you were in infant, you know." Dean was cranky in the middle of the night.

Sam followed him to their bedroom where Pastor Jim was awake. "Our turn to be up with the little blessing?" he asked.

"I need to make a bottle," Sam handed Johnny off to Pastor Jim. "After he's fed, he's all yours."

Sam fed Johnny, and like any newborn, it took awhile. Dean came into the living room," He still chowing down?"

Sam just nodded.

"Hand him over," Dean reached for Johnny. "I'll finish. I know to burp him when he's done."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I love the kid," Dean smirked. "Now you can't say that I don't know any kids."

"Good one, Dean."

As Sam walked down the hall, he heard Dean talking," So you're going to grow up to be a big guy, huh? You sure eat like a champ when we can keep you awake. I like eating, too….."

Sam crawled into bed and curled up by Jo. She was out like a light. Both of them got some quality sleep with Dean and Pastor Jim on Johnny patrol.

Sam woke up when Jo started to stir. "Why is Johnny so quiet?"

"He's rooming with Dean and Pastor Jim tonight," Sam whispered. "How do you feel?"

"Crummy. Didn't you have that bit of post-pregnancy information?"

"I must have missed that part. Johnny ate again, so he's good." Sam didn't know if she remembered they bandaged her up," We cleaned your incision and bandaged it but you should go in sometime later today. Just let me know when you feel up to it."

"I'd rather stay in bed for a week."

"I know," Sam understood completely.

"Thanks Sammy."

"No need to thank me."

"Just don't ever remind me about how I woke a whole house up over something I was already warned about," Jo told him. "I will always deny being a wimp."

"You are many things, Jo, but a wimp isn't one of them."

"Can I move closer like before?"

"Sure," Sam moved so Jo could rest on him.

"Sometimes you remind me of John. Other times you are just the quiet Sammy that I used to know, only I know you better now. Is it weird for me to say you remind me of John?"

"No," Sam was in deep thought. "If you would have said it years ago, I would have laughed. We had more in common later on. We'd had some good talks since he met you. We understood each other. We'd both loved someone with all our heart and lost them. That isn't something many people understand."

"I do," Jo's voice was soft.

"I know you do," Sam's voice was quiet. "I'm sorry I forgot. I just wonder what else my Dad and I would have talked about if we hadn't lost those years."

"From now on, I'll wonder how my life would be if he had lived."

"I thought about that after Jessica died. It crossed my mind everyday." He remembered those first few days. "I slowly healed and started to live again, if you can call hunting living. It just takes time, Jo."

Jo seemed to settle in. "Time for sleep," Sam didn't know if she heard him or not. He wasn't sure if he said it aloud or not.

Pastor Jim and Dean were fluttering around Johnny when Sam woke up. Dean was holding a diaper open with a confused face as he looked from the shape of the new one to the one on Johnny. For a minute he was stumped, he couldn't remember seeing his Dad change Sam. Pastor Jim wasn't being much help, either. Sam walked in, changed the diaper and looked at Dean," See? I didn't even give him the chance to spray me."

"I just needed a refresher course," Dean replied. "I wasn't totally lost like Pastor Jim, here."

"Hey," Pastor Jim spoke up. "Are you criticizing my baby abilities?"

Dean stated flatly," Well, yes. I guess I am."

Sam left Dean and Pastor Jim to finish their teasing. It was nice to have a light moment in the house.

In the kitchen, Sam mixed up a bottle. Little Johnny was hungry Sam looked at Johnny and tried to determine who he looked like. He looked like Johnny, his own little person. After all, Sam and Dean didn't look similar to their parents. They had their Dad's determination and their Mom's compassion. They had other traits besides visual that belonged to their parents.

Sam settled into the recliner. Johnny was already tired out. Sam cuddled him close but had to keep moving the bottle to wake him up so he'd continue to suck. When that didn't work anymore, Sam moved to lie on the couch. He drew his knees up and laid Johnny on them. He played with Johnny and tried to wake him up. "Come on, buddy," Sam stroked his cheek," you need to eat before you go back to sleep." Still nothing. Sam loosened his blanket and Johnny started to move around. Sam gave him the bottle back, and Johnny sucked like his life depended on it. "I think Dean and Pastor Jim are a little nutty this morning," he spoke quietly to the baby. "Did you keep them up too long last night?" Johnny kept busy with his bottle.

"Glad to see he's snubbing you, too," Dean walked in. "Now I won't take his silence during our deep conversations last night personally. How did Jo sleep?"

"Still sleeping. She'll need to go in today."

"Pastor Jim and I will be hanging with Johnny then." Dean smiled. "I might have to fight Pastor Jim for Johnny. He's very attached to the kid and doesn't like to give him up easily."

After getting home with Jo, Sam nabbed a sleeping Johnny from Pastor Jim. "I missed him," he confessed.

Jo had some antibiotics and they'd closed the part of the incision that was open. She sat down on the couch and laid a pillow on her lap. "Think I can get a minute with Johnny? I can't pick him up, but I can hold him."

"Sure," he placed Johnny in Jo's waiting arms. She smiled down at Johnny and her face took on a whole new softness.

"Any word from Bobby?" Sam asked Dean.

"Nope." Dean flipped his phone open just in case he'd missed a call. "He'll call when he's closer to town. You know Bobby. He'll find us. Although, he might find the Roadhouse first."

Pastor Jim tapped Sam on the shoulder and motioned with his head over to Jo. When he listened hard, he could hear squeaking coming from Jo. Her head was hanging down and covering her face. Sam sat by her on the couch and moved part of her veil of hair. "What's going on, Jo?"

"Just feeling sorry for myself and Johnny," her voice was quiet.

"Do you need to lie down, Jo? You need to have your rest."

"I don't want to put Johnny down. I feel like I don't pay enough attention to him."

"He can come with," Sam picked him up and settled him into one arm. He extended the other one to Jo. "Let me help you get settled."

Jo laid down. Sam put Johnny down in the middle of the bed and then laid down on the other side.

"I feel like I am being a bad mom," Jo played a little with Johnny. "I don't get to spend much time with him. I have to depend on you and Dean to take care of his basic needs."

"That's fine, Jo," Sam assured her. "He won't even remember this part of his life in the long run. You just need to heal. We have to take care of you, too. Let any of us know if you need anything."

"I want to be independent," Jo explained. "I'm used to being independent."

"You just can't be right now," Sam said. "Trust us with Johnny and let us take care of you, too. We just don't know what you need."

"I need some rest," she shifted around. "But I want to be able to visit with Bobby when he comes."

"Just sleep then," Sam replied. "I'll put Johnny in his bassinette when you're asleep."

"Okay," she sounded sleepy.

Sam didn't get up right away. He played with Johnny until Johnny was asleep. Jo was asleep. Sam listened to their soft breathing. It put him to sleep, too.

Bobby arrived in the afternoon. First thing, he did was hug Dean, ask how he was doing and then told him how sorry he was about his Dad's death.

Dean asked how Bobby was. Bobby's reply was that he'd just concentrated on getting there. He hadn't really thought much about the reason for his roadtrip. But, seeing John's belongings around the room made it real for him.

"Where's Sam?" Bobby asked. "Can I see the baby?"

"Sam, Johnny and Jo are resting right now but we can peek in on them."

Bobby seemed a little taken aback," Is that normal?"

"Here it is," Dean tried to explain. "Dad asked Sam to take care of Jo during out last hunt. Dad knew Sam was sleeping beside her and obviously he was just happy Sam was taking care of her when he couldn't."

Dean opened the bedroom door. Sam and Jo were sound asleep and Johnny was wide awake in the middle. He wasn't making any noise, just looking around. Dean reached over Sam and picked up Johnny. "I'm going to feed him. Bobby wants to see him."

Sam just nodded. "Remember to burp him so he doesn't spit up."

"Will do, Sam," Bobby answered. "I'll be here when you've rested up."

Jo mumbled in her sleep and moved closer to Sam. He lazily tossed an arm over her. They were both asleep before Bobby shut the door.

"He sure is a cutie," Bobby looked down at Johnny.

"We're partial to him," Dean said. "But Pastor Jim is the one you have to look out for. He doesn't share Johnny very well. He tends to hog him."

Bobby laughed. This truly was John's house. It was full of laughter. Just as it should be. The only thing missing was John, one of his best friends, even if he did threaten to shoot him full of buckshot one time. He missed him. He knew that feeling wasn't going to go away very soon.

Sam woke up before Jo. He made sure she was covered up when he got out of bed. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he closed the door behind him and went into the living room.

Bobby was in the recliner. He had it pushed back and Johnny was resting on his chest as he snored up a storm. Johnny could sleep through almost anything if he could sleep through that.

Dean and Pastor Jim were going over the funeral arrangements in the kitchen. Jo and Ellen belonged to a church in town and Ellen had thought Jo would like to have a short service there. Sam sat down at the table.

Pastor Jim and Dean had picked out what was needed at the funeral home. They didn't want to stress Jo out with all the details. The only people who would be at the service were Jo, Johnny, Dean, Sam, Bobby and Ash.

Jo quietly entered the living room and saw Bobby and Johnny in the chair. She let the sight sink in for a moment because it was such a peaceful picture. A gruff hunter holding a sleeping baby. Not a situation she'd ever picture Bobby in.

Jo went into the kitchen and the guys at the table were quiet. "So," she had a good idea about what they had been talking about," what are the plans for tomorrow?"

"Ellen and I thought you would approve of a short service at your church. I have already arranged for a family plot in the church cemetery," Pastor Jim started explaining how it would go. "I think the boys have already talked to you about wanting a headstone for their Mom next to the one for their Dad. Do you agree with that, Jo?"

"Yes. I know John would like that. They will have separate headstones, though, right?"

"We can figure out the headstones later, but yes, they can have separate headstones." Pastor Jim continued. "We think Ellen, Bobby and Ash will be the only other ones there. Did you want to sing a special song or have a special reading?"

"John and I never talked about any of this," Jo replied.

"Maybe if you just spoke about him and your friendship with him, Pastor Jim," Sam suggested.

"Yeah, and about how much he loved his family," Dean was thinking of how John gave his life to track down what had killed Mary. Then he remembered Jo and Johnny and added, "both of his families."

"Do you want to have his casket open during the service?"

"Yes," Jo was quick to respond. "I want to put some pictures in with him. Ones of our wedding and him and Johnny."

"That's fine."

"I might write a letter to him," Jo said. "I don't know if I am quite up to it but I'd like to get one done."

"Remember that the bond you have with John is still there, Jo," Pastor Jim reached for her hand. "He knows how much you love him and miss him. He'll always be a part of you. A letter in his casket isn't something you have to do. You can talk to him whenever you want. You talk to him the same way you did when he was alive--through your heart."

Jo had started to have some tears, but she seemed to like what Pastor Jim said. Then she asked Sam and Dean if they could leave the two of them alone for a little bit.

Sam and Dean checked on Bobby on their way through the living room. Bobby and the baby were still sound asleep. They went into their bedroom and shut the door.

"With being a hunter, is John going to hell?" Jo started out their conversation with her most pressing question.

"I don't think so," Pastor Jim answered thoughtfully. "What he hunted were evil things. He hunted to save people. Even if he didn't succeed on saving all or any of the people involved, he tried. That is the part that matters. That is what God sees."

"Do you think Mary is mad at me?"

"No, Jo," Pastor Jim explained. "All you did was love him. You didn't try to take his love away from her. It is possible to love two people at once."

"Are Sam and I going to hell?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because we sleep in the same bed. We did that when John was still alive on his last hunt. Do you think John knew?"

"Oh, Jo," Pastor Jim whispered," you and Sam have not consummated your relationship, have you?"

"No."

"I thought it would have been very unlikely with your pregnancy and delivery. I never thought that you had." Jo breathed a sigh of relief at Pastor Jim's words. He continued," John knew that Sam was taking good care of you and comforting you. He not only approved of it, he felt secure in knowing that you and the baby would be alright. He knew Sam was sensitive and therefore he would be sensitive to your needs. You don't ever need to worry what John thought about it."

"I have grown to depend on Sam. Is that okay to do?" Jo was confused and needed advice. "I don't want him to feel like he has to be here because John asked him to take care of me. Do you think he feels obligated to stick around?"

"I've known Sam a very long time," Pastor Jim remembered when the three Winchesters showed up on his doorstep many years go. "He never feels obligated to do anything. He does what his heart tells him to."

"How do I let him go when he and Dean go back hunting?"

"You'll find a way, Jo. You can't really plan ahead for that." He thought for a minute. "Keep open lines of communication with Sam and then you'll know what he is thinking. He's not the type to keep information that you are asking about hidden from you."

"What if Sam and I would want to date, a long ways down the road?"

"Make sure that is it love and not just the fear of being alone," Pastor Jim said solemnly.

"How do you know the difference?"

"Love is when you can't live without one specific person. The fear of being alone is when you can't live without someone, but not necessarily the person you are with."

Jo was silent. Pastor Jim still had a hold of her hand. "Are you doing alright, Jo?"

"Yes," she replied. "I've just been so tired. There is so much to do and go through."

"Take you time. Leave anything that is optional to do some other time. Right now, you need to concentrate on you."

Jo gave him a small smile and stood up. She gave Pastor Jim a hug.

"One last thing," Jo stopped on her way to the living room. "What will John be buried in?"

"His usual hunting attire." Pastor Jim answered. "The only other thing he had was a suit."

"Will he still have his stubble?"

"He had stubble on the picture I gave the funeral home. I'll call in the morning to double check everything."

"Thank you, Pastor Jim." Jo saw Bobby and Johnny still asleep as she passed through on her way to take a shower.

Sam closed their door and flopped down on a bunk. Dean was pacing by the dresser for a little while before he said," Sam, what are you doing with Jo?"

"What do you mean?"

"I come home to get you to see Dad in the hospital and you're sleeping with his wife! That isn't something that I expected to see."

"I was just comforting her and taking care of her. Dad knew, so it was fine." Sam got defensive.

"Okay. What are you doing in her bed now?"

"It's been some of the worst days of her life. I'm just trying to help her make it through them."

"What are you going to do when she's back on her feet? Go back to hunting? Be broken hearted because you are sleeping alone again? What?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Well, you need to. Everything in Jo's life is up in the air right now. We don't know what kind of decisions she will make. She might decide to move back in with her mom. We need to be supportive of her and that's it. It isn't our job to try to save her from what life has dealt her."

"I've not saving her," Sam's voice was quiet. "Sometimes I think I am saving myself. I've needed to be needed and cared for. I've needed the security I had with Jess."

"But needing to be needed and needing to be loved are two different things." Dean shook his head and let out a sigh. "Just remember that while she might cling to you now, after she's feeling more like herself, she will make decisions for Johnny and herself."

Sam just nodded. Dean laid down on the top bunk and was fast asleep. Sam thought he could hear the shower running as he drifted off to dream.

The service and internment went as smoothly as it could go. Jo was frustrated because she still needed to wear maternity clothes. She didn't have anything to dress up in, so she wore one of John's shirts. It seemed fitting and John probably got a kick out of that, watching down on them from heaven.

Jo couldn't carry Johnny, so Ellen did. Sam and Dean stood on each side of Jo in case she needed them. She took an arm from each to help navigate her way in the cemetery. They both kept an eye on her, ready to catch her if she started to faint or get weak. This was the most she'd been up since she got home.

Ellen and Ash came over after the service. Ellen tended to Johnny. Jo excused herself to go rest. Sam went to help her get settled.


	11. Johnny’s First Birthday

A Chance to Love - 11 of 11

Johnny's First Birthday

Very slowly, time passed. Bobby stayed a few days before he went home. Pastor Jim stayed around a little longer. He promised to check in on them again soon, and they should call him if they needed him. The four who were left, including Johnny, settled into a routine. Before long, Dean was restless and looking on the computer.

Dean took a couple jobs by himself. He kept in close contact with Sam and they were short trips. He was always home before a week had gone by. Sam secretly thought that Dean didn't want to miss too much of Johnny growing up, and that was what brought him back so quickly.

Johnny was fresh out of a bath and smelling so good. He'd finished his bottle and was sound asleep in Sam's arms. Jo came out of the shower and peeked at her son over Sam's shoulder. Then, out of the blue, she asked, "Do you love me?"

"What?" Sam had been half asleep and not sure what she'd said.

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I love you, but what way do you mean?"

"In a romantic way," Jo felt sorry for even bringing it up. But, Dean was gone on a hunt so she figured this would be a better time to ask.

"I haven't allowed myself to think of you in a romantic way," Sam confessed. "It would hurt too bad if you didn't love me back."

"So all of this that you have been doing is out of kindness? You didn't expect anything romantic in return?"

"Nope," Sam sighed. "I've been here because we needed each other. Have you decided that we don't?"

"No, not that." She struggled to find the right words. "Do you think you might ever feel romantically towards me?"

"You think we should quit what we are doing and start to date?" Sam was obviously confused.

"No." Jo 's mind hadn't even traveled in that direction. "I was just thinking maybe we could start to be a little romantic toward each other and see if it feels right."

"Sure," Sam said. "Johnny's asleep, so I am going to lay him down.'

"I'll lock up," Jo walked to the front and back door to check the locks.

Sam was leaning over the bassinette when Jo came into the bedroom. Jo stood beside him and watched him gently tuck Johnny in.

Then, Sam turned toward her and spoke her name. She looked up at him, and he gently kissed her. When he took his lips away, she put an arm on his shoulder and stretched up to kiss him. He cradled the back of her head with one of his hands.

What started out as a simple peck, just to see if there could ever be any chemistry turned into more. While Sam cradled her head, he kissed her neck. He heard her sharp intake of breath and took at is a message not to stop.

Jo was blindly tugging at his shirt. Sam quit his kissing, made sure the hem of his shirt was loose, and then let Jo pull it off for him. He tossed his shirt to the side and Jo was already kissing the newly bared skin. Sam's skin tingled wherever Jo's lips touched him.

Sam made a tug at the hem of her nightgown. Jo immediately stopped kissing him. "I can't do that." was all she said. Sam moved his hands back to her waist and as they kissed their bodies hungered for air.

They made their way to the bed and Sam knelt on the bed so he could still kiss her neck and shoulders. Jo ran her hands all over Sam's torso. She couldn't get enough of his skin.

Sam laid down on his back and Jo snuggled in like she had done so many times before. "Do you think we're romantically involved?" Sam asked plainly.

"Yes." She replied. "And I am glad we are."

With that hurdle out of the way, they talked about everything. Jo 's first time had been with John. Sam's first came when he was in high school. But his first love (and second time) was Jess.

"Why didn't you want to remove your nightgown?" Sam asked.

"Only John has ever seen me in the light. He thought I was beautiful, but that was before having a baby."

"So you're shy or you feel like you're cheating on him?"

"I'm shy," Jo answered. "I know I'm not cheating on him. He would want me to be happy. And I am. You feel like home, and that is a good thing."

"Why was John your first? Did you want to before then?"

"I thought I did," she seemed far away. "But then someone scared me."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Only emotionally. John had to be very patient with me. I felt lucky to have him because he was more knowledgeable since he was married before. I didn't have a clue how it was supposed to go."

"I would never rush you," Sam swore," but I want to know if there is something wrong, or if you don't like something. This isn't a one-sided emotion."

"That's why I trust you," she shimmied out of her nightgown and cuddled in closer. The feeling of his skin on her skin was amazing. " I'm just not brave enough to let you see me in the light."

"We can work with that," Sam grinned as he shut off the lamp. He put his lips on hers and they slowly opened to allow him in. He moved one had down to her breast. When his thumb rubbed against her nipple, she gasped. "Are they still sore?" He moved his hand away.

"No," Jo let out a little giggle. "I have had my doctor's permission to go ahead for quite a while now." She placed his hand back where it had been.

First it was his hands. Then it was his lips. Jo had her hands in his hair, enjoying his attention and how he made her body feel. Sam moved his kisses up to her neck. "Should we?" he breathed into her ear."

"Yes, Sammy," Jo's voice was unsteady.

Sam moved to look her in the eyes," Jo, I love you."

Jo's eyes got wide for a moment and then flickered with her smile, 'I love you, too."

Sam seemed shocked to hear that she loved him.

"Really?" he asked.

"You're my protector, my friend and now my lover," Jo whispered, still holding Sam's gaze. "We can go ahead, Sammy. There is nothing to lose, nothing at stake. It's just the two of us."

Sam kissed her while he moved around. Sam was ready when he asked Jo if she was sure.

"Please," was all she said. She put a hand on his lower back, urging him on.

Sam was able to enter but not very far. "Are we stuck?" Jo asked.

"No," Sam replied. " I just don't want to be moving in any faster than your body wants me to go. Think relaxing thoughts. No more worries on if I feel romantically toward you, okay?" Sam laughed into her neck before kissing her some more.

They went back to the familiar position, her head on his shoulder or chest and Sam laid on his back. He was taking in everything about Jo's body as she laid beside him: her curves, the warmth of her skin, the smell of her hair. " Still think this was a good idea?" Sam thought Jo might have had second thoughts.

"We are always a good idea," Jo's voice soothed Sam's worry.

They kissed some more before falling asleep. They knew Johnny would be up soon enough.

When Sam woke up, Jo was already up, feeding Johnny. Sam sat down on the couch beside her.

"I totally forgot about it last night," Sam's ears started to turn red," but are you on the pill or do I need to buy something at the store?"

"I've only ever used the rhythm method," Jo replied, starting to get embarrassed herself.

"Um, we didn't last night," Sam was staring at his hands.

"I know," her whole face blushed.

"This shouldn't be like this," Sam commented. "If we can make love, we should be able to talk about making love, don't you think?"

"Yes."

"So tell me what you're thinking."

"Well, I got my birth control information from someone who had been out of needing any for over twenty years," Jo started. "I don't know what is out there or what the pros and cons are. Do you?"

"Wow." Sam said realizing that she'd gotten her information from his Dad. He had to remind him that this had nothing to do with his Dad. It had to do with Jo and her outdated contraceptive information.

"Okay, honey," Sam took Jo's hand as Johnny rested comfortably in her other arm. "I can tell you what I know. It isn't much. For my part, they still only have condoms. For the ladies they have a selection of products that I don't claim to understand."

"What did you and Jess use?" She approached this conversation as problem solving and not as prying into someone's past.

"She had something, film or foam, something that she inserted ahead of time. We never did use condoms, but I'm not against them."

"I wonder how the different products affect sensation and what works the best."

"I have no idea," Sam replied. "We could do research in the drugstore."

"Not in such a small town," Jo shot that idea down.

"I could ask Dean," Sam didn't even really want to suggest but Dean was a good person to get any information about sex from. If Dean didn't know it, he usually knew how to find out.

Jo just shot him a look.

"Okay," Sam was grasping at straws," how about Ellen?"

"Her information is as out of date as John's was. Are you sure you don't know any more?"

"Would you rather I had more of a variety of experience?" Sam laughed a little.

"No, I didn't mean that. I love you for who you are. However you think is best to get the information."

"I'll get the information for us," Sam lifted her hand so he could kiss it. "Consider it handled."

They blended into a cozy little family: Sam, Jo, and Johnny. Dean noticed a difference when he got home from a hunt.

He had some wounds that needed to be tended to. Sam grabbed the trusty old first aid kit (they now had one in each vehicle and one at home) and followed Dean into the kitchen. Dean dropped his coat on the floor, favoring one arm. Sam helped Dean peel off his shirt. He was alarmed to see the amount on blood on the t-shirt underneath. Dean had covered it with bandages as best he could but the wound was too deep. As soon as Sam got the T-shirt and bandages off, he knew Dean was going to need stitches.

"Want to go in and have a doctor stitch you up?"

"Come on. How would I explain what happened? Besides, I hate hospitals."

"Jo!" Sam called into the other room. "Bring me your sewing kit!"

Jo came into the kitchen to see how bad it was. "Ew. I have some fine thread that uses a finer, sharper needle. I used it at the Roadhouse sometimes, so I just bought some for here just in case. I'll be right back."

"Got anything for the pain?" Dean asked Sam.

"I think there is still some whiskey in the cabinet," Sam was trying to remember. "Or do you need me to go to the Roadhouse for something else?"

"Only if the whiskey doesn't take care of it."

"Sure."

Jo came back with the sewing kit and Johnny. "He was awake. I figured he could sit in his bouncy seat."

With Johnny happily gurgling in his bouncy seat, both Jo and Sam moved their attention to Dean. Dean was already drinking from the bottle. "He sure is a good kid," Dean commented. "Guess he'll live up to the Winchester name and be a little wild later on."

Sam disinfected the gnash. It wasn't like one long cut. It was crooked and split off into more cuts.

"Have you sewn many people up?" Sam asked Jo.

"Sure."

"If I hold it together, can you stitch it?"

Jo nodded.

"Jo," Dean took another swig," have I done anything to piss you off lately that you'd want revenge for?"

"Don't think so," Jo was busy threading her needle.

"Just let me get a little more drunk first." Dean kept the bottle close by. "It might be easier if I lie down."

"We have the best light in here," Sam said. " How about on top the table?"

"If you think it will be better." Dean was starting to get a little tipsy. He stumbled as he stood up and Sam helped him onto the table. "Damn, this thing is uncomfortable."

Sam held the pieces of skin together and Dean gripped onto the edge of the table until his knuckles turned white. Jo started to stitch and steady running stitch where she could. In other places she had to tie off single stitches with knots. Dean swore like a sailor but Jo kept stitching, knowing he was doing his best not to. After the stitching was done, Sam said, "I've got it now. I can bandage him. Johnny is going to get cranky if someone doesn't pick him up soon."

Jo put her sewing kit back together, cleaned up, and swiped Johnny up like an expert. She turned on the television and sat with him and his toys on the floor.

"Is that the Teletubbies?" Dean asked.

"I'm surprised at your knowledge of children's entertainment, Dean," Sam laughed.

"I'd love to hunt them down. Johnny doesn't really like them, does he?"

"Who knows," Sam was to the point of taping Dean up. "Johnny can't really tell us if he likes it or not."

"Don't ever let him watch Barney." Dean warned Sam. "I'd have to take your tv out at the point."

"No, no," Sammy chuckled," We will never have Barney on our tv."

There was some silence as Dean checked out the bandaging. "Looks good. You two could charge for your services at the Roadhouse."

"Jo gets enough of the Roadhouse when she works there," Sam explained. "I don't think she'd like to be the nurse on duty whenever a hunter wandered in."

Dean took some pain pills and went to lie down for awhile. Sam brought him in an icepack after he was settled.

"Dean?" Sam quietly asked since he thought Dean might already be asleep.

"Sammy."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," he replied. "It's not like I am going anywhere."

"It's personal."

"Is this something I am going to want to know? Or is it something I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to forget like the time I saw you in a dress?"

"That was for Halloween, Dean."

"Still, that image was burned into my mind. It's still there." Dean quit joking. "Just ask me, Sammy and get it over with. You're starting to make me jumpy."

"Well, Jo and I are a couple now."

"I'm glad I'm drunk to be hearing this one. You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding, Dean. I just need you to accept that part so I can ask my question."

"Okay, hit me with it."

"We need information on birth control. You are active and don't have any kids, so I figured you might know more than us."

"Didn't Jo fill you in on anything?"

"Dean, she got her information from Dad. You remember the talk he gave us, right? That's all we have to work with."

"Oh, God. That ain't much. Why didn't you just surf the internet for the information?" Dean asked.

"Well, Jo didn't know if certain products affected sensation or what their risks are." Sam was struggling to get the words out. "I know about condoms, Jess used something like foam or film, I can't remember which. Jo has used the rhythm method. Know of anything that could help us?"

"The pills are kicking in, Sammy." Dean said. " I heard your questions and I will share my wealth of knowledge with you. I'm not putting you off. I'd just hate to give you the wrong information because I'm dopey. If you want, include Jo in our conversation. That might prevent us from having this conversation twice. By the way, do I still get to live here or are you going to be at each other all over the house? I'm not exactly sure, but that might make me uncomfortable."

"We are private people. It's just like before you left. You get either bunk bed, depending on how far you want to fall when you've had too much to drink. I'm glad you picked the bottom bunk for now. Need anything?"

"Sleep."

"Okay," Sam took Johnny's little crib out of the room with him. "Try not to rip back open. Goodnight."

"Is Dean okay?" Jo asked when she saw Sam hauling the crib out of the bedroom.

"Yeah, he'll just be sleeping for awhile." He saw Jo sitting on the floor with Johnny in her lap, and was so thankful for what he had. His brother might be battered, but he was there. His relationship with Jo might not have started out in an ideal way, but in the end, it might not matter how it all began.

"I asked Dean," Sam started talking slowly," and he's going to give us some information later. He was too drugged up, he's accepted that we are together, and he said that you might want to be in on the conversation so that we don't have to have it twice."

"I don't think I want to be in on that conversation," Jo replied.

"It should be fine, Jo. I figure since Dean's been with so many ladies, he might have actually talked to them about what they used. He knows we all got our birds and bees talk from the same place, so he knows where we are coming from."

"It just seems weird to be talking to Dean about this," Jo looked up at Sam. "Are you sure it is okay?"

"Dean is my big brother and he's always helped me out. I'm sure he doesn't view this as any different. If you don't want to be there, that's fine. It's just that you can't ask any questions if you aren't there."

"Alright, Sammy. I suppose I'd ask a big sister if I had one."

Jo and Sam were already resting in bed when Dean woke up. "You guys asleep?" he stood in the open doorway.

"No, come on in," Sam invited him to sit down as he turned on the bedside lamp on the dimmest setting. He and Jo sat up at the head of the bed while Dean sat down on Sam's side. He put a knee up on the bed so that he was facing both of them.

"So you guys wanna talk?" Dean looked at them as he asked the question.

"Yes," Sam took Jo's hand," Tell us what you know."

"Okay, stop me with questions anytime." Dean took a deep breath. "So the big talk we all got was to use condoms. That was it. Sam mentioned the rhythm method, and that counts somewhat, too. You guys are going to be together for a very long time?"

"Yes." It took Sam a moment to realize that it was a question.

"Then, I'll skip whether or not you're protected by STDs. " Dean was able to cross something off his list. "Condoms are made of different materials. The regular latex ones won't work for those with a latex sensitivity. As an alternative, they have ones made of animal skin. They are thinner than the latex ones. Some condoms are lubricated and have a spermicide. Those don't work for anyone with sensitivity to the spermicide. I've heard about the film and foam, they have the same spermicide in them. Prescriptions are needed for birth control pills and they have the list of side effects or warnings on the advertisements. I've heard from some women that they are a hassle to take and might cause weight gain. I know that an IUD is dangerous. It can make it impossible to have children. Actually, all of the prescriptions come with a list of warnings, so you'd need to check with a doctor about that. As for the rhythm method, I've never tested it. I always use a condom, but have had to purchase animal skin ones because I never know if someone has a latex allergy until we've reached the moment."

"Jo was wondering about sensitivity," Sam reminded him.

"The thinner animal skin ones seem to allow for more sensation. At least on my part, I think it might be on both sides. Didn't you say Jess used film or foam? Did those affect sensitivity?"

"No, at least I don't think so." Sam said thoughtfully. " She had to put in it well ahead of time. I couldn't feel it. Jess never said if she could."

"Well, Sam, how comfortable are you with the rhythm method?"

"I'm okay with it," Sam's face turned red.

"What's up, Sam?" Dean needed a better answer.

"Sometimes I just don't get too much notice--" Sam turned even more red.

"I'm the only other person here, Sam," Jo reminded him with a smile. "No need to be turning red on my account. If we need to try something else, Dean has just given us many ideas. Maybe we would need to try different methods to find what works for us."

"I've got you started already," Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out two condoms. "One is latex, believe me, you'll know right away if you are sensitive to it. The other is animal skin. If you want to try anything else, Sam will have to bond with the girl in the drugstore and Jo will have to see a doctor."

"Thanks, Dean." Sam took the packets.

"Thanks," Jo was actually glad that she took part in this conversation.

"What's a big brother for?" Dean gave his grin. "Finally, my expertise helps someone. I've decided that this wasn't so bad. Any other questions, just call me Dr. Love."

"Dean, Dean," Sam just shook his head. "How are you feeling?"

"Stiff. Sore. In need of more pills." Dean stood up and headed to the door. "You guys feel schooled now?'

"Yep."

"Great. I'm going back to bed."

After he walked away, Sam turned to Jo and said, "See, that wasn't so hard. I told you he'd be cool about it."

Jo just kissed him as a response.

Johnny turned a year old and they had a party for him. Jo decorated the house with streamers and balloons. Ellen made a birthday cake. Bobby and Pastor Jim came to camp out at their home for awhile. Dean made sure that he was home from his hunt early.

Through all the happy moments, the tears were just behind the laughter. They took lots of pictures. Johnny shoved cake in his face with both fists. He made a mess on the floor in the process. Ash got a kick out of how big Johnny had gotten.

It wasn't about presents. It was about loved ones. Everyone present counted as family. Johnny would have a wonderful extended family to help raise him.

After the party, Sam and Jo sneaked out. They walked in the evening light to the cemetery. Dean had been there earlier in the day. He'd wanted to go alone, even though Sam offered to go with him. Dean left flowers there so that it wouldn't look so barren when Sam and Jo went.

It was easy to find the headstones. They had visited often. Sometimes together, sometimes separately.

Their plot had a feel of peace to it. All of the dates were on the stones, but the most important parts read:

Mary Winchester

Wife of John

Mother of Sam and Dean

John Winchester

Husband of Mary

Father of Dean and Sam

Husband of Jo

Father of Johnny

Jo Winchester

Wife of John

Mother of Johnny

"Just think," Sam had his arm around Jo," in a few months, you will also be the wife of Sam."

"Think John is happy about that?"

"He knew you were special enough to get through to him after concentrating on hunting the demon for so long," Sam kissed Jo's hair as the sun set. "After I told him about Jess and the baby, he told me I'd find love again. He just never said that he'd already found it for me."


End file.
